Another Great home for the Zombie Apacolypse

I sometime am unaware of how I accumulate things in my head. I tend to have a sponge of a brain for pretty much anything. My computer can sometimes be the same way. I wander the Internet and I find pictures that strike me, or I browse the shelves of bookstores and hobby shops and find things that fill my mind with ideas. Today, is a great day for Zombie Home Defense, because I have decided upon a almost perfect home that can be built (I always say almost because I can find ways of enhancing almost anything, Not ever the omega particle is without flaw no matter what the Borg may think)

I digress. Below you will see a picture that is quite frankly, genius.

Before any of you laughs, since apparently a portion of my audience does only that, just look at how seemlessly this house can transform. One moment it is a modern monster on the surrounding terrain, a pure aesthetic failure of epic proportions. Then, just moments later, it is a modern monster of design - that is surrounded by a solid layer of foot thick cement reinforced by steel and implanted with lead to protect against some forms of radiation, blocking all zombies from entering.

No horror movie-esque breaking of boarded up windows, no sneaking in through the one room you left doofus in charge of protecting - just walls of cement and steel. Mmmmm, I can smell the internally filtered air now... What could possibly make this more appealing - oh wait, I know!

There are a lot of gadgets in this book I don't personally need, they might be fun to make me seem insane and scare of future boyfriends of my daughter. However, the most amazing thing I can find a use for with this, are the directions for the Tesla coils and the laser perimeter warning system. Can't say any home defensive system can be complete without a laser tripline to trigger the alarms for you to seal this home up.

Oh, and the Tesla coils do make it more interesting once you are safely inside.

Ramblings on Royalty, Marriage and Monsters

The world was very quiet this morning, one of those quiet mornings that is at the same time unsettling. I have written of these before, the mornings so quiet that you start to think, "wait, did I miss something important last night?"

In any case, I do hear vehicles moving now. It is Friday, so perhaps they are just slow to start their day. Perhaps.

Plastered all over the news this morning is that a new princess is a part of the British Royal Family. Okay, we all knew this was going to happen (the marriage that is). Or was there some dark secret that perhaps she wouldn't go through with it. I know lots of women who would still say "I do" if a damn prince was asking them to marry them, even if they hated him! Quite Frankly, if I was a single guy and a Princess asked me to marry her, I don't think I would say no.

And another thing, not because I want to rain on anyones parade, she isn't a technical princess still. Her family only stays royal if they stay married.

And keep one thing in mind William - princesses are captured by monsters all the time. If a zombie horde kidnaps her - You have to save her on your own. Its true, I have played all the video games. Princesses are never saved by entire armies, only a single hero. If you don't make it - someone else gets to keep her. So you better keep an eye on her when monsters start prowling around the castle.

The Undead Yogi

So, I received an email from Meetup.com that was supposed to be a suggestion for a group I could be interested in. The only interest it gave me was to think of buying a shotgun because there might be a Zombie living among us.

My reason for this is as follows: The description of the group was for some new-age living style run by some guy who changed his name to sound like he has read the Bhagavad Gita a few too many times. Sounded okay so far (not that I am in to all that), but a few lines later it said the man died at the age of 7, and then came back to life. Hold-UP, he what? so this undead seven year old starts wandering around and no one tells anyone?

Now I am sure they will say he is just as alive as anyone else, which may be trued for the musculo-skeletal realm of things, but they may just be ignoring the fact that small children disappear when he is around. Classrooms of children disappear into thin air when he has everyone "meditating". What gives, last thing I need is to be led in meditation by someone who will it the person next to me gets munched on. "We all feel healthier and enlightened" YOU good sir are being drugged while he eats the people too sick to get away, that is why your group is so healthy, you are losing the sick end of the spectrum.

There, now I feel better.

And another note to anyone reading - my fear does not make me unable to kill zombies, in fact it makes me
more willing than anyone to get rid of them, no questions asked. I intend to survive them, not scream and run away. (Because standing my ground and screaming like a little baby is sooo much more brave)

Return to California

After a Blitzkrieg trip to Arizona for the weekend, I am back in California. A few lessons from my weekend I want to share.

1. I believe a personal parachute may count as a carry-on item. I can see the conversation now - "Sir, what is that in your bag?" Me "This is my insurance against your bad maintenance and poor piloting!" (very important when flying Continental. They like to land at 45 degree angles off the center axis, not the nose)

2. 3-D printers are alive and well in the world. While I have no use for the ones that print in cheese - epoxy, hard plastics, electro-responsive composites and metal all appeal to me as viable printing materials. Perhaps my belt-fed shot-gun could be made a reality!

3. Delta's exit hallways at LAX border on insanely creepy. Image below. My thoughts as I landed: God I miss Tera and Chloe, Crickey I am tired. Holy shit I need a picture of this hallway before the zombies come rushing at me. I think I would have found the energy to run even if they had shown up.

Damn Zombie hallways.

Zombies on a Plane

So, no zombies at 10,000 feet. This time.

A bit of good did come from my journey to Arizona, I can now add two more armies to my list of know weapons caches in case of zombie attack. This brings my total to five separate locations I can easily get to whilst en route to the family in Arizona.

In other news, I was made aware that myself and my blog were being mocked for my fear of zombies - however these same people revealed that the US navy has an actual military alert code for zombies. As if knowing that would make less concerned about them.

Bastards.

Also 3-D printers are a reality, so machinists fell into an optional saving category. Sorry guys, just make sure your CAD skills are up to date.

Anxiety

Flight doesn't leave for another ten hours but I am already anxious. Still not confident I can land the plane in event of zombies. Will hope air traffic control is alive.

Travelling

I just wanted to do a quick post today before I head out- I am taking a plane right after work to go visit the family over the weekend, so posting tonight other than using my phone may not be an option. That being said...

Today's thoughts will be filled with the dangers of Zombies and planes. I was paranoid last night because I couldn't think of anywhere I could go in the event of infections, except the cockpit. but then I thought, what if it the head stewardess and they already got the pilots? Can I land a plane? Hell, can I land a plane AND hold off a small horde of zombies?

Next few posts may be a treatise on the definition of a "horde". Also a discussion on whether or not Jesus of Nazareth was a prophet or not.