Official Book Release Day!

Today is the official release day for Empires Awakening. Yes - those of you who have signed copies from me are the proud recipients of a pre-release copy that makes you extra special. Those of you waiting on books still - they are being sent and you will be reading them soon.

As to where you can locate the book - I was able to pull up the book page on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and on the website for Powell's Books.

Other than that, today all I ask is that those of who have read the book, please leave a review online. These retailers and other readers DO see those reviews and make choices based on them, so I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

And yes Mr. Kiel - I am working on book two.

Science of Zombies

Son of a B-. No, I won't swear at that level in the blog, but I sure as hell did say it out loud when I read and watched the video about the science that could create an actual zombie-like event. Located on Mashable, this article discusses the ability of a virus to meet the qualifications necessary to create a zombie horde.

You see, nature is a mean spirited destroyer of all things - just as much as she can create some amazing wonders. No one should ever forget that that same person who creates the awesome beauty of things like this image at right:








Also create terrible things like this:

That is an image of Hurricane Sandy from space as it envelopes a majority of the Eastern Seaboard. Like I said - Mother Nature is not all sunshine and honeybees. 

Imagine my displeasure to hear that she allows for viruses to take over human brain function. I don't think anyone can ignore the fact that Rabies is a disease that acts like this. It is a mean spirited bug intent on death and to spread itself to new victims. Why do you think Rabies causes aggressive behavior and salivation in animals? Aggression makes the animal use its main weapon - biting, and salivation is a method to spread itself - since Rabies is passed through fluids. 

It doesn't take much of a stretch to get to unending hunger and other loss of mental control. The video explains that all it takes is a virus specifically targeting those parts of the brain. The terrible part of it as well - is that the virus could easily enter via a sense of smell. The damn olfactory nerves lead directly to the part of the brain that handles these sorts of things. 

Damn Nature. Now I have to worry about things I may smell. This planet is flipping crazy!

Why is taking the Garbage out that Stressful?

I hate taking the gabage out at night. There is nothing I despise more. Why you may ask? It is the lighting. Our home is set up so the back and front light leave a strip of horrible darkness for the entire length of the house, the same length you must walk through to get to the trash cans. So what could possibly go through my mind when I approach this darkness that my eyes cannot pierce?

There must be zombies in there. Why? Not a clue. my eyesight is very sharp at night, but is easily thrown off by any light sources nearby. The back light just happens to be one such light because of how it is placed. It creates a wall of blindness to a no-mans land hiding countless undead in the tangle of plants in the yard.

I hate taking the trash out at night, and should just avoid it - but not taking the trash out as needed puts me in harms way of another sort. The type that involves the wife looking at me with "that" look.

I think I will learn to take the trash out earlier.

The coming End of the World

So, I hear the world is supposed to end tomorrow. Is anyone else a little excited about the prospect? Now before anyone gets upset, let us look at the benefits of having the end of the world.

1. Once it is over, we can get on with our lives. - I don't have to hear about the Apocalypse ever again!

2. Decreased traffic congestion - fewer people means fewer cars. Imagine rush hour with half as many people!

3. I can finally rule the world - who better to rule a place that will be left in chaos. I can submit my world domination resume to anyone who wants to see it. I got plans, and the knowledge to see them through.

4. Better housing market - lots of empty houses (some pretty nice ones too). And prices will go down.

5. Your choice of bankers and lawyers - We pretty much know that all the bankers and lawyers will be left behind, so with the sheer number of them left needing work, you can use them as cheap labor to fix up that post Apocalypse home! Make them sweat!

Does anyone else have some they want to add?

Survival Ratings

Survivability is key for any individual who finds themselves in the midst of a zombie Apocalypse. Perhaps it is time to develop a sliding-dependency scale to determine the survivability of people in such an event. There would be a number of factors one would have to look at to insure everything was adequately examined.

First, you would have to score them on a single-survivor basis. How well can this person survive on their own - what are their chances to NOT become lunch.

Second, scoring them on a pairing or group survivability basis. Some skills work better when used in conjunction with other skills, so in essence their abilities work better with people around.

Thirdly, the mental stability needs to be examined. Last thing you want is someone who loses their mind just when you need it most. Some minds just do not handle the idea of the Apocalypse well.

So, we can call this the I-G-S-S score. Individual, Group Survivability and Stability score. IGSS, almost sounds cute. Perhaps the next few days I can develop a scoring process for each of the IGSS values. Anyone want to be a test subject?

Another Great home for the Zombie Apacolypse

I sometime am unaware of how I accumulate things in my head. I tend to have a sponge of a brain for pretty much anything. My computer can sometimes be the same way. I wander the Internet and I find pictures that strike me, or I browse the shelves of bookstores and hobby shops and find things that fill my mind with ideas. Today, is a great day for Zombie Home Defense, because I have decided upon a almost perfect home that can be built (I always say almost because I can find ways of enhancing almost anything, Not ever the omega particle is without flaw no matter what the Borg may think)

I digress. Below you will see a picture that is quite frankly, genius.

Before any of you laughs, since apparently a portion of my audience does only that, just look at how seemlessly this house can transform. One moment it is a modern monster on the surrounding terrain, a pure aesthetic failure of epic proportions. Then, just moments later, it is a modern monster of design - that is surrounded by a solid layer of foot thick cement reinforced by steel and implanted with lead to protect against some forms of radiation, blocking all zombies from entering.

No horror movie-esque breaking of boarded up windows, no sneaking in through the one room you left doofus in charge of protecting - just walls of cement and steel. Mmmmm, I can smell the internally filtered air now... What could possibly make this more appealing - oh wait, I know!

There are a lot of gadgets in this book I don't personally need, they might be fun to make me seem insane and scare of future boyfriends of my daughter. However, the most amazing thing I can find a use for with this, are the directions for the Tesla coils and the laser perimeter warning system. Can't say any home defensive system can be complete without a laser tripline to trigger the alarms for you to seal this home up.

Oh, and the Tesla coils do make it more interesting once you are safely inside.

The Crisis of Creativity

I will one day be in a crisis of my own creativity. First I am pretty sure you are all wondering what the hell that means, and second you are probably wondering what that looks like. Well, hopefully I can answer both questions for you dear readers.

My better half, in her wisdom, has decided that one day I will write a zombie horror story. Knowing my infinite luck in this arena, I probably will break down and right that very story. In fact I have one that terrifies me that I intend to put on the page. It includes every disturbing thought that comes into my mind when it comes to Zombie-ism, and the ending is something that creeps me out. So, story being done - I just haven't written it.

My greater fear is what happens if it is made into a film - I would be required to go. I would have to be on set, I would have to promote the very things I want nothing to do with. My not wanting to go and being honest runs the risk of appearing to be giving the movie easy viral advertising. Which, if the movie terrifies and disturbs people like it does me - would be perfectly fine. However if people think the movie sucked - than well I look like a doofus.

Thankfully my risk of doofus-dom is pretty low - and at least I can't look as bad as John Kyl the unapologetic bastard that he is.I think I would have to stoop pretty low to be poorly viewed in the communities of the world that value things like honesty and a sense of morality. Goodness, what could I do to be that bad off?

Another blog for another day.

Dear Home Owner on the Hill

Dear Home owner on the hill,

I like your hours and its extremely defensible location, easy access to fields for growing food, and the ability to be reached in relatively little time in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Please understand I will only show up if the zombies are coming, no sooner. Just please be aware of the following concerns to save us both time and trouble.

1. I will keep you alive, and your family alive, until you are infected. If this happens I am "evicting" you, not the other way around.
2. Please keep a backhoe and pile driver parked behind your home. This, coupled with steel pylons, steel sheets and cement and mortar works will be part of my defensive position plans. I know you can pay for them so please do.
3. Email me where your water supply is, so I can secure it. I don't want to fight the undead for a drink.
4. There is no fourth request.
5. Please start your marksmanship practice now, I don't want to waste ammo training you after the fact.

Thank you for these considerations, I look forward to never having to meet you or and build a barricade around your home.

Signed Most Honorably,
Me.


I was hiking today and found one of the most perfect retreat positions in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Its on the high ground in the mountains north of Santa Barbara, and I wish I knew who lived there (or how long their driveway is because it is SERIOUSLY up there).

This house is so absurdly placed that I fell in love with it almost immediately. That, and on top of the damn house (though the picture doesn't quite show it) is a 360 degree observation floor. Windows facing outward from every face WELL ABOVE THE HOUSE! It is like they knew it themselves that they needed a snipers nest for taking out zombies before they got close. Also, in the event of a massive earthquake, it is not near an edge so landslides are unlikely, and may I say in the image below - Tsunami who?

For flipping Jehovah's sake - what else could I ask for? Well I could ask for the channel island preserve (yes I do consider it an option for my safe haven) given its close proximity to food sources, distance to shore, and its easy access to active oil wells. My only concern is getting trapped on the very island I am trying to secure for myself. In either case, I have another spot I can put on my list.

A few things NOT to do, When the Zombies come

1. Not prepare, and "hope for the best". - Completely and utterly stupid. If you idea is "I will lock my door and take a nap on the couch until Suzie comes home" You are just preparing yourself to be lunch.

2. Sleep in General - Guess what - sleeping just means you can't see them trying to get to you. I suggest you start practicing staying up for a week straight. First rule - ignore the voice in your head that says "we should get comfortable!", that little shit screws you every time.

3. Head to Costco first. Non-zombie Apocalypse this is fine, its a good idea. In a Zombie Apocalypse - WORST IDEA EVER to go anywhere lots of people would go. This includes church. Unless your church is the militant arm of some religious whack-job group that happens to be heavily armed. THEN  you go to church.

4. Don't help the neighbor you know has a gun "closet" that is half his house. He has guns, most likely is a better shot than you, and doesn't have all those "emotional attachments" to the rest of the neighbors once they get infected. Their is no shame in keeping his back while he keeps you from doing something stupid. Such as-

5. Rush your loved ones with hugs. I know, they are loved ones. But Zombies don't understand love, they understand exposed necks for biting, and arms for munching. Quarantine or restrain anyone until the infection threat is gone. Then arm them.

6. DO NOT, make your "base" on the first floor if you can help it. Zombies rarely wield weapons, so stairwells are great places to hold off the Zombie Horde if your barricades fail. High ground and a narrow funnel means even people who can't shoot the broad side of a barn suddenly become harbingers of a second death to the undead.

The Great State of Washington: Defensible Locations

Ah yes, defensible locations. One of my favorite subjects, and quite frankly one of the most important subjects people should ever have on their mind. Is this place defensible? Can I survive here? Will Michael Jackson's Thriller really make the dead dance in perfect rhythm? Thankfully I can answer all of these questions pretty regularly.

The reason why Washington is on my list tonight is due to a very strange, but thankful, quirk in the whole Zombie mythos - zombies can't swim. I am greatly thankful for this (and I am sure somewhere a Sci-Fi staff writer is making a case for "Water Zombies" for their next bad movie) as it makes more locations defensible than others. With other fantasy creatures you have more logistic concerns. Skeletons being some of the worst undead to deal with since they can do pretty much everything they want (except blink and tan I guess). A ship full of skeletons? A VERY dangerous thing that. A ship full of zombies? Only dangerous if you are stupid enough to get on board with them.

Anyways, Washington. The northwest portion of the state, as I found through my google map wanderings, is a veritable treasure trove of mild-climate islands and peninsula. Granted, I mean mild climate not because it isn't cold, but because you are not completely snowed in. That and I am sure that bears can make short work of pesky Zombies wandering in the woods. But having a few hundred acres of livable land and access to fresh water directly from the sky a majority of the year is a pretty sweet deal. All you have to do is hold a line that could be as little as a mile wide and you have a perfect bottle neck to defend from.

Also, would be champions of undead-killing, remember to make sure you are on the correct side of the bottle-neck. nothing I hate worse than someone setting up perimeter at  the bottle neck. Before any of your stupid friends start digging their trenches (or building barricades which is smarter with an enemy intent on eating you) make sure they understand that they want their opponent to come through the bottle-neck, not sit in front of it.

In either case, Washington earns today's award for defensibility. Anyone have any other suggestions I should evaluate?

Infectious Nature of Fear

There is a grim reality that people around me must face after they make fun of my Zombie Fear; the reality that they may themselves begin to share in my fear. I won't reveal the names of the people around me that have felt this way, but readers you should all know that fear is contagious.

When we see the rational intelligent people in our lives so terrified by something, it is human nature to begin to wonder if they may not have a point. In my case some have had nightmares and even moments of fearful clarity as they watched someone shamble around in the night - and they have that quiet voice of unreasonable fear pop into their heads. The thought sticks with them, digging its claws into their mind.

For those of you who will begin to fear so much - its okay, its human to have new fears.

Aliens vs Zombies

I have finally gotten around to watching the Aliens movies. The alien species itself is quite strange to me, given the fact their parasitic growth cycle is just as dependent on killing humans as Zombies are infecting people. While watching "Aliens" I actually had the thought of "I wonder what an Aliens vs Zombies" movie would turn out like. Can aliens be zombi-fied? Do aliens prefer raw fresh flesh, or if it is still moving they will try to use the zombies just like humans?

Face huggers are just as bad as any Zombie virus. And the fact they can move around so well and jump out at you has its own level of creepiness to it. Just taking a walk in the park and then BAM! Face hugger downs you. This is very similar to walking through the park, and BAM! Zombie tackles and bites you.

In both cases a few hours from now you will be dead (or undead) and release a creature that is deadly to others, either the parasite from the alien or you become a zombie.

Would full grown aliens kidnap zombies for hosting the baby aliens from the face huggers? I guess it is a question of how fresh they need the meat to be. Humans are just cattle in this case. Is this like selecting between Long horn or dairy cow?

In either case I can make it through Aliens, not so much a zombie movie.

The Weapon of Choice: The Belt-Fed Shotgun

I have been thinking about an earlier blog I wrote about weaponry and how to choose your weapon to defend yourself with. Ever since I half-heartedly mentioned the idea of a belt-fed shotgun, I have not been able to get it out of my head. It was an idea of whim - something silly to be tossed on to the page. Now here I sit thinking of how such a contraption could work.

I am not a gun smith, and frankly it is probably one skill my family does not have. We can do a lot of things, but making guns I don't think is among them. Perhaps I could ask my father. One of my "fond" memories of him is from my last visit years ago. It was my last morning before I had to return home, and I find him in the garage making a grenade. It is not that I am afraid of explosives, quite the opposite. It is the absurdity that walking around in the workshops of my family you are likely to find any number of strange projects.

In any case, belt-fed shotgun. Shotguns filled with 00 buckshot are extremely deadly at close range. You don't have to aim particularly well and a cone of death spreads out from you. The problem is the reloading. Shotguns can have two, five, or eight shells in them before you are stuck putting a new shell in for each shot you want to have. The reloading process is one of the most easily interrupted as well. Single placement of cartridges is an additional spot for a mistake.

With a belt feed into the side of the mechanism, you can reduce the error of shaky hands in a combat situation. You fire, ratchet, and you are ready to go again. As long as you don't have things grabbing at you at close range (branches or undead) the belt can be kept clear and untangled on anything else. A shotgun with 100 or more rounds of fire, now that is a gun I want to see. Slug or 00 or even incendiary rounds are a winning combination.

The Quiet Morning

I am a morning person. I enjoy being awake long before the sun comes up, before people begin to clamor about and bring noise to the world. The silence and emptiness is both soothing and terrifying for  me.

I have enjoyed mornings here near the coast, with the beauty of fog clouding my vision out of the window of my apartment. The hill north of town with the homes I wish I could afford to buy sits beyond the white mists - but no one could say what its fate is at that point. As much as the fog gives the world a clean pristine mystery, it also holds the hidden dangers of what is within.

Some morning the silence is deafening. The crunch of gravel along the roads a thunderous clash, and my feet the cymbals of the heavens cast upon the earth. Any zombies could hear that. As strange as it may seem - I have not seen a zombie infestation that affeccts hearing. It seems that zombification affects sight, smell, strength and touch - but never hearing? Whoever dreams of zombies must be music lovers - god forbid they lose the ability to enjoy music while they are eating people.

I think those musical bastards must have it out for the rest of us. People with sensitively sharp ears as well - they created zombies to silence the world. I can see it now, a super-villain being asked.

"Why are you doing this? Why destroy the world?"

"Because everyone is too damn loud and I am trying to compose a symphony!"

<<Start Zombification>>

Damn people with sensitive ears. I wonder what I could create to get back at them? Other than my idea for a belt fed combat shotgun, Without that, I am at a loss.

Apocalyptic Survivability

I am a survivor. Now before you dismiss me as being overly hopeful, or just ignorant of the steep curve of basic natural survival of animals, Think about your own personal knowledge, and what you know how to do to survive. Hollywood, and even the science channel have tried to figure out the multitude of ways to collapse human-kind in on itself. Movies like the Terminator, 12 Monkeys, I am Legend, 2012 - these are all films that question the ability of humans to respond to calamity. 

Let's face it as well - many of us our soft. We spoil ourselves with driving our environmentally controlled cars, we hide from nature behinds walls of stone, wood, glass and steel. In a fight between man and a natural beast - there are many interactions where mankind is on the losing end without technology to back him up. Nature is something I called the MOAB talking to my better half tonight. Not to be mistaken with the Russian Mega-bomb, or perhaps an American ICBM, MOAB (a bigger version of a son of a bitch) stands for Mother of All Bitches. When it boils down to it, nature is not a son of a bitch, she is THE biggest one in all existence.

That being said, humans have survived for tens of thousands of years. In earthly terms, we are still just a blink in a tectonic image. Mother Earth hiccups - and chances are we go flying without a passing thought in the mind of the planet. The question I pose is what are we doing to survive if that hiccup occurs.

Zombie, Nuclear, extra-terrestial, or microscopic - there are lots of ways for humans to be wiped out. How many of us know how to find shelter, or locate clean water supplies or know where to get food if suddenly the supermarket is out? Who among us can figure out the fastest means to travel between two points if highways are impassible and your vehicles is rendered useless? Does anyone know the proper quarantine procedures to protect your home in the case of a disease outbreak?

We are soft, not in a morbid the divine-will-punish us soft, but we are quite honestly ignorant of what we have to know to protect in order to survive. I know people who won't last a day without wikipedia. Quite frankly I know people that if it wasn't for my near eidetic memory of some techniques and information they probably wouldn't survive long in a disaster. However I also know my limitations and who I need to work with to make sure myself and those I care about survive.

Before you think I have lost my mind or find me paranoid, I just ask that you think very carefully on what steps you know you need to take to survive in whatever disasters can reach you. In the span of a few hours a single weather event can bring us to an etch-a-sketch end of the world (thank you Eddie Izzard) scenario where 100,000 years of civilization is thrown out as fast as yesterday's trash and everyone is in kill or be killed mode. Sadly that first reaction is also conducive to making sure fewer survive. Perhaps tomorrow I will write about how collectivism is more important for survival than individualism, for now I leave you with the thoughts of "What they hell will I do if...?"

I think that should be frightening enough since most of us can't answer that question.

Zombie Children

Nothing pisses me off more than the idea of Zombie Children. I mean seriously, children? Like people don't already have a hard time surviving the playground, now they have to go start eating people to top it off? I hated recess before Zombies. After - just makes it a living hell that was upgraded with more hell.

First, let us ignore the disturbing fact that children would have to get infected somehow. If you are an adult on a playground you already have a sign on you that says "attack me". Anyone who has worked with children know how this works. Within moments of stepping into their domain they are sent into a frenzy the likes of which is not rivalled by anywhere else in nature. It is like a collective, mad consciousness is ruling them from the moment they reach the slide. For some reason playground equipment brings out the primal energy of children. Turning them into fast moving torpedo's for attacking, tackling, climbing, swinging tunnelling and digging - it is a sight to behold.

Now make the mistake of letting them get infected. Children have the cleanliness facter of earthworms. Once it is in the ground they all share everything. Once a child has something, they all end up with it. They have a natural tendency to share every single contaminated item that comes into their possession. Everyone knows how quickly lice spreads? Colds? Flus? Now take all that primal energy and make it hungry. So now adults change from jungle gyms into buffets.

Let us not forget the cuteness factor. What group of national guard soldiers coming upon a playground full of children will shoot first and ask questions later? None. I can see it now:

"Oh these children are so cute, they are running to greet us!"

"Rawr!"

"My god the cute children are now trying to bite my ankles. Now they are climbing up on me, ow! he bit my neck!"

"Rawr!"

"Rawr!"

National Guard 0, zombie children plus a million. The most terrifying part of this is the fact that the chances for human survival are pretty darn slim with a child zombie army roving about. They would be like locusts eating crops. Quick moving packets of cuteness laced with death (and undeadness), scouring the countryside for the next group of stupid people who think it is cute when a wave of children come running at them. Think ahead and plan people. Go experience your son or daughter's playground. Once you see the terror they can wrought without  deadliness you will start to think about how to defend yourself.

Here is a hint: Children like to climb and wiggle through very small holes we otherwise don't think they can get through. Start preparing.

My Response to Zombie Movies

I do not care to watch Zombie films. At one point I was able to do so, but in the past few years that capacity has been lost to me.The tension and the fear are too much for me. That, and every zombie movie involves things jumping out at you suddenly and usually involve fair amounts of gore. My two least favorite cinematic techniques.

I am reminded of a night years ago when I was watching the first two resident Evil films in a row. One night of "lets get this over with" zombie action. I finished both films - I was a trooper. However I spent that night barricaded in my bedroom. I even had a crutch being used as a door jam against the door frame and the wall - to give me a few more moments to escape if the filthy beasts came and attacked. I even slept with my katana and waki-sashi on the floor next to the bed - just in case.

The few times I have tried watching these films with significant others - I always end up not wanting to cuddle. Because of course someone infected would want to cuddle and get near my neck. Look, EVERYONE, if I am having a paranoid day about zombies, leave my flipping neck alone. It is the one place that I do not want you near. I don't even want to touch anywhere else, but for the semblance of sanity I must. Also on a side note - thank you for those who have been sensitive about this.

Do I want to watch zombies in any form? Not particularly. I mean, it is not like my undead list precludes undead as a rule. Oh no. Vampires are ok. Mummies are fine. Skeletons do not frighten me. Ghosts are not an issue. Liches - well, depending on the type I will ave my concerns. It is just those damnable zombies that need to be erased.

Location, Location, Location

I enjoy Europe, well, at least I did the one time I went. I enjoy spending the rest of my time looking at pictures of places in Europe I want to go see. Like Hallstatt and Neuwanschtein Castle, and Kuchlbauers Bierwelt (that would be "Beer Land"). Part of the reason I enjoy looking at these places is because Europeans built fortifications and living spaces everywhere. I am talking castles people!

What better place to wait out the Apocalypse than your very own fortified location? And, a majority of time castles were built in locations that helped them defend a region, with access to resources (remember our sustainability blog entry?) Zombies have never been known for their engineering finesse, so it is not like they would be able to construct a catapult or trebuchet and come after you any time soon.

So yes, location in important, especially in Europe. Just be careful you don't pick a palace - that would be a deathtrap. Why? Because they typically were designed to just be places of lazy luxury and opulence. I am sure many think that might be a good place to go in case of zombie attack - but it could quickly turn into a ZBA. A Bunch of drunk humans tired and sleepy from eating too much. It is like their are preparing themselves like veal. I am sure the zombies appreciate that though.

Now I know in case of me taking over a castle I have a host of all new concerns. First making sure the winding halls are cleared of infected, and then only letting who I want to have inside - selection of allies is important. I don't need idiots who get bit while out working or on patrol coming back inside thinking "oh I will be different, I won't turn zombie!" More people means more risk. And to any who end up working with me in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse - I have a zero tolerance policy for the infected.

Will I tell you which castle I am looking at going to? Not likely, I don't want neighbors, at least not too many anyways.

Nightfall

The question of my day is whether or not that guy shambling through the alleyway is just drunk, or if he is infected and waiting to eat someone. Zombies should have some sort of bright sign that can be seen from 100 yards out.

Perhaps that is a nice addition for enhanced reality vision systems?

Sustainability in the Post-Apocolypse

We all want to survive. I mean, unless I have some suicidal members of society reading this today, pretty much all of us want to make it to the ripe old age of (insert some large number here) and die in our sleep peacefully. The question is what you do to maintain your survival in the event of a catastrophic Zombie attack.

I just don't think many people understand how ridiculously inter-connected our world is these days. You take out one peg and it all falls apart. Redundancy has not been good business, and much of our country has been left to its own devices without worthwhile civil construction projects. Did you know that our power grid was last up to date in the 1970's? Without human intervention we lose electricity in about eight to ten hours. How sad is that? Water systems are similarly ancient, with some cities still using water pipes installed in the early 20th century. And you wonder why so many water mains break in the winter New York City? Now you know.

Now that you know these are going to be problems, what are you going to do about it? How will you provide food, water and defensible shelter with a bunch of Zombies running amok (or shambling depending on their incarnation)? I think, dear readers, you should focus first on shelter and water. Water almost always draws life of some type or another, be it animal or plant. Hence why a concern for water may trump all the other concerns. Just remember one important fact about sources of water if you do not control the entire system - Nature likes to put sharks in the ocean and alligators/crocodiles in the water. It is that nasty thing she does with evolution, the fittest survive. If you are drawn to water, that which eats you will be drawn to water as well.

So - once you have a water system you can keep contained and defend easily (micro-water treatment - yes please!) your next concern is finding some way to have a stable dependable food source. Also - this is a point where science class and the few nerds you thought ahead to save from that college campus overrun with undead (please tell me you saved every nerd not already dead?).

Farming and growing food leads to two obvious options, each with their own problems. Number one, open field growing of whatever food you can stomach eating day in and day out for the next few decades. And the second is high-tech indoor hydroponics. First lets cover that open field scenario.

Field food crops are a pretty easy thing to run, so long as you understand your food won't look grocery store fresh. You will have to fight for your food against mother natures most numerous organisms - insects. With everyone dead or undead and obviously the number of people depleted to minimal levels, that whole "buying land" thing goes out the window. Its all free! So long as you can maintain it, it is as good as yours. There are some downsides to this though. Growing enough food to support yourself and possibly a few others takes a sizable chunk of healthy soil. Soil you hope does not have any weird stuff in it from the military trying to kill the zombie horde (you know; that whole nuke thing?) Also, Zombies may not bother to eat your fresh corn, but have you ever wandered a field of corn where the plant is a foot taller than you are? It is a bonefide ZAA - Zombie Ambush Area. Not pleasant trying to get dinner and becoming dinner. Just like that damn watering hole with the crocodile - #$^$^ nature!

The second option is a hydroponics setup. Here is where the nerds come in handy, quite literally worth their weight in food or gold, whichever you think is more important. Hydroponics can be maintained in sealed structures. Underground with artificial lighting or above ground using natural light - this is science meeting gardening. You can easily find articles online about how much bigger the fruit is, the vegetables grow healthier... blah blah blah. Basically it is contained and can be placed anywhere you are, no matter the climate or time of year. Here come the downsides. You have to put up with the nerd or group of nerds you saved from before - unless you have the time to monitor a very technical set of computer systems that are in turn running a complicated balance of water and nutrient cycles and all the amazing machinery that goes with it WHILE fighting off the zombies that wander in from time to time. If you do, no problem - except for keeping electricity and your heating running. Oh, and you have to have an internally controlled water system. Going to get buckets of water from the damn watering-death-flipping-trap-hole in the ground just is not going to cut it. And guys and gals - that whole line of "Not if you were the last person on Earth...." line goes out the window after awhile. Humans are animals after all.

Now, while each option has some pro's and cons to it, just remember that it is your choice for how to survive. Myself I know my choice, but yours may be different. Just make sure you know which way you want to go first - saves you some time fixing your mistakes (and trying to find nerds for the hydroponics once you are already left them for dead).