Updates for the Month

My apologies for the lack of updates in the past few weeks. I have been trying to make progress on a few different fronts when it comes to the world of Theron - so I apologize but do not excuse my absence. That being said....

I am trying to make more happen with the books. My last post focused on Merchandising and how others have been successful with it. Some people that is all they had to do because their work stood on its own. I am in a bit of a catch-22 scenario for myself when it comes to this sort of thing. I want to make things happen that would be cool and help make the world my book takes place in more exciting - but I lack the funds to do it. I want the books to support this creativity habit of mine and at this early stage it's going to be hard. This is the struggle for all new artists - at first you are jut trying to get any notice and then have your habit support itself.

Will I get there? Sure - after a time. I am sure I will get somewhere with things. Following are a few of my goals for this year with my books.

Goal #1:
Finish the second book. Its getting closer - and I am very nearly at the tipping point so this is totally possible. However it will just be the first draft and will need to be edited and read through by Beta readers. Beta readers I still do not have a list of. (Applications please?) Editing will need to be completed by an editor.

Goal #2:
Line up a publisher. This will help with both distribution (getting in front of readers) and helping with the editing and drafting process. This will also help grease the gears to get the third book started and get the Zombie book written.

Goal #3:
Art Tablet. I want a tablet designed for graphic art work. Something I can electronically paint/sketch with to get some new products to go with the book. This will allow posters, t-shirts, pins, book marks and other fun stuff to get made.

Goal #4:
Do a convention out of state. Hell, just get to a few local conventions that are not scheduled on important family dates would be great. It would be awesome and terribly exciting to travel across state lines to bring the book to the masses.

Goal #5:
Finish composing my song. I have had this thing in my head for years, and it is about time I get it out of my skull and into some other heads.

I think all of these goals could be possible, and I will look into ways of making these more financially viable in the coming weeks. I will be recording videos for a Patreon campaign later this week and will launch it to get a little bit of additional fun stuff going. I will keep everyone posted and send out a link once everything is ready to go. 

Something New for Authors: Merchandizing

In the past I have written about how amazing the internet now is for the creative class. I have followed many different individuals over the last decade and a half on the internet, and some have risen to insane levels of stardom. And they all started with a small following to some videos posted online. My personal favorites are Lindsey Stirling, Scott Kurtz, and Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins.

That is not a ranking in any sort of way of how I feel about them. My love of each comes from a different part of the creative persona that is me. As hilarious as it sounds - I possibly found all of them within mere minutes of each other. I can't confirm that but I came across them all during a distinct period of my college life.

I had purchased the MMO Heroes Online - and inside was a comic that Scott Kurtz had done. I enjoyed it more than game and began following him online. Shortly after I probably came across Penny-Arcade - the creative child of Jerry and Mike. I tend to binge-read a new comic that I find so chances are I stayed up all night reading both online comics.

Lindsey I found perusing the precursor of YouTube. It was a video of her dancing about playing a song of her own on an electric violin. It was love at first site. Stringed instruments are my favorite type of instrument to be played as their sound is, well, exquisite to my ears. If your song has them in it I am already a fan. Lindsey is a talented woman and I am very glad to see she has gone from that living room and moved on to things like, I don't know, National Television appearances and World Tours. Both pretty epic. I would settle for just one, but both? Goddamn!

What does this have to do with authors? Well it matters because there are a lot more ways for artists to get themselves in front of audiences. That is competition. These artists are all creating more than just a single item for visual consumption, they are branding themselves and getting other ways of engaging audiences. This means that if writers are going to maintain the same involvement they are going to have to adapt and do the same thing.

Authors need to find ways of getting in front of more than just an audience of individuals who read books. They need to find ways of getting people to come back again and again when they show up at conventions. This means that instead of just writing a story - we have to create other items to go with our world.

I am already preparing to do this myself. Once I get a bit more money in - I will be ordering the first in a series of collectors pins that compliment my book series. I am toying with the idea of creating my own audio book so that I can offer my story in another format. Eventually I will digitally paint a full world map for my book - I already did so on paper with colored pencils to great success. Hell - I am even planning on ideas for t-shirts and small posters for my fans to purchase. I will hopefully help use this as a way to re-engage my readers between books, and help draw people in to the books as the audience builds.

I am not a marketing genius - if I was I would have been on The Colbert Show before it ended. What I do know is that the creative class includes Authors - and if we don't keep up with those who are doing more and more to engage the audience we all vie for, we will be left behind. Get out there, make some doodles for symbols or images from your stories. Create a map of your fantasy world. Your future success may just depend on it. 

Jumping off into the Holidays

Halloween has passed us by and we are now quickly marching onward into November. I am a huge fan of the Christmas – mostly because of the lights. I am already planning my outside light display (soon lights… soon….) which will hopefully not blind my neighbors.

I had an interesting October that included a real vacation, recovery from having my wisdom teeth removed, and going to a convention and conducting panels. Hell – I even recorded them (insert links) so you can all view them at your leisure. I felt incredibly proud of my panel on sexual assault and consent issues. It is something I am personally attached to given the past I have lived through. If I could make a living just helping work to prevent women and children from being mistreated and abused I would probably do it. Though the work is hard and very "sticky" for me mentally. I would need a hell of a vacation policy to recover pretty regularly.

In book news, I am a little stuck in a very important chapter for the second book. It is a chapter involving Cael's father so I am taking careful pains to create the exact scene I want to help explain more of Cael's backstory and why he could be, well, annoying at times. I think there is a little piece of my mind in each of my characters – so I do get attached to them and their stories.

If you take the time to watch the author's panels, you will find that writers can even surprise themselves while they create these stories for your consumption. I create ahead of writing and while on the fly. Sometimes as I type the words into the word processor something comes to mind that just needs to be said/described/experienced and I put it down on the page. Just as a point of how important those little pieces are to me as a writer – Mesieve was created on the fly. There was no pre-thought into him; his story just happened. He has become a central character that I never knew I was going to have.

I also had some amazing networking opportunities at the convention I attended. The Comic and Media Expo was in Mesa, Arizona, and had a nice list of skilled artists and content creators for attendees viewing and purchasing pleasure. I am sure everyone wanted more people to attend, but that is the fate of every artist trying to make a living (or a hobby) out of hawking their wares. I did however get a chance to meet some awesome people, and make connections for content and ideas that I never thought of. A few people stand out and I would like to cover all of them in due time – however a couple major ones stand out I want to talk about today.

The first – Tavis Maiden. I started following his work when I saw him on Strip Search. He had his booth set up and was incredibly friendly to chat with. Since there were not too many people present I talked to him for the two days I attended around my panel times. I also gave him an ebook copy of my book since I got to read a lot of his stuff online for free as well. It's only fair. Don't know what he will do with it but I hope he reads and enjoys it.

The second person was Jessica Feinburg, who was selling many of her dragon themed art items. I can't really do her work justice by describing it, so please just go to her Facebook page and store and check it all out. I traded a book for a dragon play/place mat that I already put to use rolling the dice in my Pathfinder campaign. She tolerated my presence and gave me a lot of product ideas that I am trying to find a way to make possible.

Lastly, I want to thank those who attended the panels I was hosting. The convention was nice enough to give me time to fill – and I actually did which surprised even me. All of these videos are available on my YouTube channel linked off of my Facebook pages. If you get time, check them out. I will have a book signing in December so keep posted on the next time I am out in public selling/signing books for all of you. 

October Special Events

About a week and change ago I posted that I was waiting for some news, and I finally have it. I will be attending the Comic and Media Expo in Mesa in mid-ish October. The dates for this are the 17th through the 19th. This is a first year event, and it sounds like these people have their ducks all in a row. Not to mention they have what appears to be a pretty good guest list.

Speaking of guests - I am leading a few panels with local authors in the Phoenix area/region. First I will talk a little bit about the guests and then I will talk about the panels we will be doing.

Deena Remiel is the mind (and typist fingers) behind at least 16 different books (according to Goodreads) and enjoys writing stories involving the fight between good and evil.

T.M. Williams (Tina Marie) has written at least 10 works (again according to Goodreads). She focuses on Science Fiction and Horror writing, but has at least one Business book to her name.

Patti Hultstrand Is a writer and works in local publishing for authors of all types and genre's.Patti has helped to publish 74 books since 2009, she can also help you to get your book(s) out into the marketplace. If you want to know how to get your book physically out there - She would know whats what!

Matthew Cerra - This is me! I will be leading the panels, but also participating in these. I have the fewest books to my credit in the group so I get to be the baby on the panels.

These authors all deserve support so I encourage you to share/like their Facebook pages and check out their works. Breaking out in writing is all about getting in front of people that enjoy your Genre and impressing them with what the world inside your head is like.

The Panels
"Author Ask Me Anything - Late night" is scheduled for Friday from 8:00PM-10:00PM in panel room "Palo Verde III". - This is a great opportunity to ask these authors, well anything! If you are a fan and have wanted to just find out what drove your favorite character over the edge, into the edge or anything else, it is a great chance to ask.
Participants: T.M. Williams, Deena Remiel, Patti Hultstrand, Matthew Cerra

"Creation, Struggle and Dystopia: Your First Story" is scheduled for Saturday from 8:30PM-9:30PM in panel room "Robson". - This panel is a place to discuss how to get that first story from idea and onto the page. Authors have to manage a lot of threads at the same time so this is a chance to hear how some others have made their mark and gotten their books together and on the market!
Participants: T.M. Williams, Deena Remiel, Matthew Cerra

"Respecting Consent: A Reverse Perspective" is scheduled for Saturday from 5:30PM-6:30PM in panel room "Palo Verde III". - This panel is an updated talk about a subject I have not spoken about for over twelve years. This panel will be covering issues of sexual harassment and consent and while I do believe that it has content that younger audience members should not see - it would be best to keep this to mature 10+ audience members. I used to give this talk to 5th graders so I think it is still safe for them to hear.
Participants: Matthew Cerra, Sakura Thumbelina

Relationships are Hard

My apologies for not getting the blog out last night - life gets exciting and for that I cannot apologize. I am stuck here unable to talk with my family because I had all four wisdom teeth out today - what better opportunity to write! Today's subject I will hopefully not upset anyone with - it is something that is fascinating to me so I felt it was pertinent to mention.

I was asked recently about the presence of gay and lesbian relationships in my stories. Sex and I have a very complicated relationship, much more than is needed really, so I must admit I did not have an answer.

It is not that I don't think about them - I just don't pay them much heed. Except when their rights are concerned. Then I will pitch a fight and kick ass every which way from Sunday. Yes I am a full supporter of LGBTQ rights.

I have made some obvious heterosexual relationships - its what I know. Its what many people know. But if I missed out on possibly having a meaningful love between two men or two women would the story be less engaging because of it? While there are sections of my book that things are laid out pretty clearly and we all know where all the pieces are going to fall - I want the intricate relationships these characters develop with other to leave everyone with someone to latch on to, to understand.

As luck would have it - inspiration struck me a couple weeks later. I was beginning to write the scene of a reunion between two characters separated by centuries of time, decisions that drove them apart, and a act of evil they both had a different part in - one redeeming and the other sinister. As I stated to write these two characters reactions to each other - I felt it would be a much more powerful scene to make that relationship more than even I originally thought.

After writing the first few paragraphs and laying some hints for a love that had once been there - I realized I needed more information. I did not want to assume that all relationship mannerisms were the same. That I could be missing out on some additional things I could put in this scene to make it so much more powerful.

I have never had to hide who I was, I have always been a slightly feminine dude who likes women. While most of my family falsely believed I was gay my entire teenage life - I have always been straight. I don't know how you show love to someone when you may not be able to touch them, when others may seek to harm you just because you give in to the crushing urge to reach out and feel their skin and hold their hand while you walk along the street.

So I have a few friends on either side of the spectrum I will be talking to. I am not uncomfortable acknowledging my ignorance - and while I understand our emotions and attractions may be very similar - how they struggled to show affection when they were not allowed to is something I have no clue on. It is something I will remedy and I hope my books will be better because of it. 

Official Book Release Day!

Today is the official release day for Empires Awakening. Yes - those of you who have signed copies from me are the proud recipients of a pre-release copy that makes you extra special. Those of you waiting on books still - they are being sent and you will be reading them soon.

As to where you can locate the book - I was able to pull up the book page on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and on the website for Powell's Books.

Other than that, today all I ask is that those of who have read the book, please leave a review online. These retailers and other readers DO see those reviews and make choices based on them, so I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

And yes Mr. Kiel - I am working on book two.

This Page has Been Updated!

I made changes to the blog layout today. I now have actual pages that have different information on them! Additionally, since I am using this as more than just a page for my sometimes hilarious blog entries about my zombie fear I have re-titled my blog to be called "Master of Theron".

Theron is the world that my books take place in, so it makes sense that I am its master. Nothing more than that. In the coming months I will try to expand this to cover even more important events and information so keep watching and hopefully soon I can start doing shows and meeting my readers.

Best Regards
~Matthew Cerra

First Signing Success

Salutations my devoted readers!

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to have my first book signing – and it was a success. It actually helped out the owner of the coffee shop I was holding the event at.

Other than new faces to enjoy the shop, there was a breakdown in the espresso machine used to make all of the coffee’s. This resulted in a two hour closure that morning that I did my best to push people to the counter (after getting my book) to make sure they bought a drink or a snack to make up for that time they were closed.

Again, Thank you Sam for hosting my event at your shop. I will have to do it again down the line. Lo Fi Coffee was a nice place to have friends come out and show their support and get my book.

Now, I just need to figure out where my next signing event will be. I have something in mind for August – so please watch out for another event that could be coming. Once I get the details locked in I will tell everyone and send out invitations to everyone and write about it here.

Also, I am going to try and get my website set up soon so I can get books sent out to people online. This will hopefully be a page that can hold my blog and include information for each of the books as they progress towards completion. I know I will now have more people clamoring for the books to be finished more quickly – and I will do my best to make that happen.

Just as an FYI – book two first draft is 30% complete.

I really Hope Zombies Can't Swim

I really hope Zombies can't swim. Seriously. Do you know how difficult it would be to stop the undead hordes if Zombies could swim? Probably just a shade below impossible, and would seriously restrict locations people could call safe havens. This would of course rely on the fact that aquatic animals would not eat them, or their water logged flesh would soak up water and they would sink into the dark depths of the ocean. There, their decomposed forms would be crushed into a wet mass of undead mush.

As long as a location can be successfully cut off or easily monitored it can remain a safe location. Even if standing water is removed as a barrier, there still remains rushing water, mountains, fire and sheer cliffs. Each of these can create hazards that the undead would be heavily challenged by. I mean, if you could build near one, having a constant flow of magma from a volcano would be a pretty impressive barrier. Granted - being that close to a volcano may not be the best location for long term survival. Volcano's tend to be a tad bit temper-mental in even the best circumstances.

Part of the difficult in preparing a zombie free zone that one can live in comfortably is the basic idea that as Zombies have become more common in media - their myths have changed. Initially zombies only sought out brains - but after a decade or two their palates grew into a general hunger for human flesh. After their hunger changed, then they began to change into more fearsome beasts. Now they can run, climb and turn into relatively powerful monkey-like creatures to terrify humanity. I have to assume these myths changed because of the American culture itself. How could a zombification disease spread in a country that has more than one gun for every single man, woman and child within its borders? Making Zombies more powerful makes that possible.

However this expansion of the genre has its drawbacks. The original zombie idea was an embodiment of a slow progressing rot, a slow death through overwhelming odds. The fear of the slow inevitable end of your life as you are faced with your mortality from those that are already passed on. That is an incredibly different fear than "Holy crap that rage-beast is going to try and gnaw my limbs off".

One theory on the development of Fears is that for some people they are manifestations of other incremental problems in their life. these fears are the way that the mind takes a single object or theme and puts all those different pieces into a single larger one. While this doesn't work for all cases, with some analysis of what a fear entails a person can reasonably figure out why someone is afraid of something.

I am aware enough of my fear, and who I am as a person to understand a large portion of my fear of zombies, and how it is different from other fears. I can see the path my mind followed to create the fear, and why at this point in my life, this manifestations of my fear is so powerful for me. It warrants a close inspection from anyone with any level of fear, as to why and how that fear came to be a part of you. Like it or not, that fear probably has a good reason to be there.

Zombie Preparation Kit

I always enjoy finding other Zombie apocalypse plans, or being sent lists of items that everyone should have in case of a Zombification event. To be entirely frank - I have a pretty in depth list as it is - I even had to develop a way of processing new items as they get brought up to see where they lie in order of importance. Let's face it now - some things are just more important for long term zombie attack survival than others. Holly Madison is pretty far down on the list - sorry her fake boobs, insured or not, won't make life any easier when people start eating each other.

Today's list is actually from last week - CNN Money created a list of items (and their cost - as if money is important with undead running around) that everyone should consider having in the event of a zombie level event. Perhaps I should make that another acronym - ZLE.

1. Ghost 400 Crossbow - I will be honest, there is a special place in my heart for crossbows. This is the medieval equivalent of armor piercing bullets. While arrows always had a better range and are very deadly - crossbows are the cudgels of long range weapons. They don't just pierce - they SLAM into their target at the minimum taking the wind out of them. While the review says aim for the head - most likely you will remove the entire head when you hit - solving that pesky biting once they are down problem. Oh - and the ammunition is re-usable (if you feel the need to retrieve your shots that is)

2. Husqvarna Chainsaw - Chainsaw's were made popular by two things = Evil Dead and the Doom series (if you haven't ever found the chainsaw in Doom you haven't really ever played it). While I commend any destructive weapon - chainsaws are noisy and messy - splattering blood and gore that will most likely infect yourself and your peers - reducing the numbers of non-undead.

3. Orchid Samurai Sword - Swords - while not the optimum weapon of choice due to their range, they are the most dependable. No one has ever said they have run out of ammunition while using a sword. Swords do not jam, they operate in the cold, the heat, under water..... pretty much if you can move the sword works. I have few already myself.

4. Anti-Riot Helmet - Any sort of armor that is light and effective is a bonus in my book. The downside to this model is that the neck is open for biting. If it doesn't have a coif - it is not going to help as much as it should.

5. Anti-Riot Armor - I pretty much have to repeat my last statement. I love armor - and this stuff looks great. Two deficiencies in this design though. First, no neck protection (coifs were invented for a reason people) and even more bizarre in this case - why does this thing not have gloves included?

6. Skull-faced mask - This is screaming "Shoot me as well!" I get the whole intimidation factor for the living, but this is for the undead - the only thing this does is make you a target.

7. Night Vision goggles - This is a pretty good idea. If you can find a few pair, it never hurts to have them once night falls. Darkness has always been the ally of the undead - for some reason rotting eye tissues have excellent night vision capabilities. While I call bullshit on that - it doesn't hurt to have the upper hand with your body armor to also have better vision than the undead hunting you.

It is a limited list - but a list none-the-less. I just have to wonder how much money was plugged into CNN Money for placing these items and their manufacturers. Either way - all of these items will be more useful than Holly Madison. Unless of course you intend to use her as bait (which is a honest waste).

Why is taking the Garbage out that Stressful?

I hate taking the gabage out at night. There is nothing I despise more. Why you may ask? It is the lighting. Our home is set up so the back and front light leave a strip of horrible darkness for the entire length of the house, the same length you must walk through to get to the trash cans. So what could possibly go through my mind when I approach this darkness that my eyes cannot pierce?

There must be zombies in there. Why? Not a clue. my eyesight is very sharp at night, but is easily thrown off by any light sources nearby. The back light just happens to be one such light because of how it is placed. It creates a wall of blindness to a no-mans land hiding countless undead in the tangle of plants in the yard.

I hate taking the trash out at night, and should just avoid it - but not taking the trash out as needed puts me in harms way of another sort. The type that involves the wife looking at me with "that" look.

I think I will learn to take the trash out earlier.

Gandalf and Zombies?

The blog over at Tor.com reported to me this fine morning, that Gandalf (aka Sir Ian McKellen) are on board to be part of a victorian era zombie flick. The good news: Can you imagine Gandalf taking down a horde of undead? That would be pretty awesome to watch, but I doubt I would be able to bring myself to watch it. Gandalf or not, zombies still scare the bejsus out of me.

And making it set in victorian era england just makes it that much creepier. Given tales like Sherlock Holmes, Bra Stoker's Dracula, Frankenstein - there is no way to tell if these zombies will be magically brought to life or some mad scientist virus that is released in the age of steam. I can only imagine what will happen, but I won't be there for it.

All I can ask is that other lover of Gandalf cheer him on his he takes down the nasty beasts.

CDC Zombie Planning

My fear, hilarious though it can be, is something that many consider a pop-culture icon. A mere traversing of a cultural idea with fears and values tossed into a nice mix - with a dash of undead for flavor for that story to be told. That being said, I always enjoy finding other zombie preparation plans, especially ones from reputable government agencies - like the CDC! The link here is a reposting of the blog post by the CDC. Granted, I am finding flaws in this plan of their (who wants to meet out in the open during a zombie attack?)

In any case, though the preparation kit does not include a shotgun or other weapon (I do NOT count a utility knife as a proper weapon when dealing with a ravenous flesh-eating mob) it does a good job of making sure people keep things in mind for any other emergency.

I mean seriously, not even a gun and ammunition?

Return to California

After a Blitzkrieg trip to Arizona for the weekend, I am back in California. A few lessons from my weekend I want to share.

1. I believe a personal parachute may count as a carry-on item. I can see the conversation now - "Sir, what is that in your bag?" Me "This is my insurance against your bad maintenance and poor piloting!" (very important when flying Continental. They like to land at 45 degree angles off the center axis, not the nose)

2. 3-D printers are alive and well in the world. While I have no use for the ones that print in cheese - epoxy, hard plastics, electro-responsive composites and metal all appeal to me as viable printing materials. Perhaps my belt-fed shot-gun could be made a reality!

3. Delta's exit hallways at LAX border on insanely creepy. Image below. My thoughts as I landed: God I miss Tera and Chloe, Crickey I am tired. Holy shit I need a picture of this hallway before the zombies come rushing at me. I think I would have found the energy to run even if they had shown up.

Damn Zombie hallways.

Dear Home Owner on the Hill

Dear Home owner on the hill,

I like your hours and its extremely defensible location, easy access to fields for growing food, and the ability to be reached in relatively little time in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Please understand I will only show up if the zombies are coming, no sooner. Just please be aware of the following concerns to save us both time and trouble.

1. I will keep you alive, and your family alive, until you are infected. If this happens I am "evicting" you, not the other way around.
2. Please keep a backhoe and pile driver parked behind your home. This, coupled with steel pylons, steel sheets and cement and mortar works will be part of my defensive position plans. I know you can pay for them so please do.
3. Email me where your water supply is, so I can secure it. I don't want to fight the undead for a drink.
4. There is no fourth request.
5. Please start your marksmanship practice now, I don't want to waste ammo training you after the fact.

Thank you for these considerations, I look forward to never having to meet you or and build a barricade around your home.

Signed Most Honorably,
Me.


I was hiking today and found one of the most perfect retreat positions in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Its on the high ground in the mountains north of Santa Barbara, and I wish I knew who lived there (or how long their driveway is because it is SERIOUSLY up there).

This house is so absurdly placed that I fell in love with it almost immediately. That, and on top of the damn house (though the picture doesn't quite show it) is a 360 degree observation floor. Windows facing outward from every face WELL ABOVE THE HOUSE! It is like they knew it themselves that they needed a snipers nest for taking out zombies before they got close. Also, in the event of a massive earthquake, it is not near an edge so landslides are unlikely, and may I say in the image below - Tsunami who?

For flipping Jehovah's sake - what else could I ask for? Well I could ask for the channel island preserve (yes I do consider it an option for my safe haven) given its close proximity to food sources, distance to shore, and its easy access to active oil wells. My only concern is getting trapped on the very island I am trying to secure for myself. In either case, I have another spot I can put on my list.

A few things NOT to do, When the Zombies come

1. Not prepare, and "hope for the best". - Completely and utterly stupid. If you idea is "I will lock my door and take a nap on the couch until Suzie comes home" You are just preparing yourself to be lunch.

2. Sleep in General - Guess what - sleeping just means you can't see them trying to get to you. I suggest you start practicing staying up for a week straight. First rule - ignore the voice in your head that says "we should get comfortable!", that little shit screws you every time.

3. Head to Costco first. Non-zombie Apocalypse this is fine, its a good idea. In a Zombie Apocalypse - WORST IDEA EVER to go anywhere lots of people would go. This includes church. Unless your church is the militant arm of some religious whack-job group that happens to be heavily armed. THEN  you go to church.

4. Don't help the neighbor you know has a gun "closet" that is half his house. He has guns, most likely is a better shot than you, and doesn't have all those "emotional attachments" to the rest of the neighbors once they get infected. Their is no shame in keeping his back while he keeps you from doing something stupid. Such as-

5. Rush your loved ones with hugs. I know, they are loved ones. But Zombies don't understand love, they understand exposed necks for biting, and arms for munching. Quarantine or restrain anyone until the infection threat is gone. Then arm them.

6. DO NOT, make your "base" on the first floor if you can help it. Zombies rarely wield weapons, so stairwells are great places to hold off the Zombie Horde if your barricades fail. High ground and a narrow funnel means even people who can't shoot the broad side of a barn suddenly become harbingers of a second death to the undead.

Fear of Cuddling

One of the things I hate about fearing zombies is that it makes me also fear being close to loved ones. I mean physically close to them. There are many different things to fear, but some can be feared more than most on a paranoid day.

By far one of the worst side-effects of a more paranoid day, is the fear of cuddling. Whoa, hold on - a fear of cuddling you ask? Yes, because it basically puts you into the most indefensible position you can possibly ever be in. What better to become infected than to be cuddling with someone infected with a zombifying disease when they "turn" zombie.

Never before has the gentle nuzzling of a loved one into your neck evoked more delusion panic than when you have to wonder - will they bite me sometime in the night? Will this fun movie night turn into a nightmare?

Stop looking at me with that face, it is an irrational fear for a reason - because it is bothersome and strange in all its quirkiness.But once the zombies come, don't expect me to be handing out hugs - arms length saves lives.

Infectious Nature of Fear

There is a grim reality that people around me must face after they make fun of my Zombie Fear; the reality that they may themselves begin to share in my fear. I won't reveal the names of the people around me that have felt this way, but readers you should all know that fear is contagious.

When we see the rational intelligent people in our lives so terrified by something, it is human nature to begin to wonder if they may not have a point. In my case some have had nightmares and even moments of fearful clarity as they watched someone shamble around in the night - and they have that quiet voice of unreasonable fear pop into their heads. The thought sticks with them, digging its claws into their mind.

For those of you who will begin to fear so much - its okay, its human to have new fears.

Aliens vs Zombies

I have finally gotten around to watching the Aliens movies. The alien species itself is quite strange to me, given the fact their parasitic growth cycle is just as dependent on killing humans as Zombies are infecting people. While watching "Aliens" I actually had the thought of "I wonder what an Aliens vs Zombies" movie would turn out like. Can aliens be zombi-fied? Do aliens prefer raw fresh flesh, or if it is still moving they will try to use the zombies just like humans?

Face huggers are just as bad as any Zombie virus. And the fact they can move around so well and jump out at you has its own level of creepiness to it. Just taking a walk in the park and then BAM! Face hugger downs you. This is very similar to walking through the park, and BAM! Zombie tackles and bites you.

In both cases a few hours from now you will be dead (or undead) and release a creature that is deadly to others, either the parasite from the alien or you become a zombie.

Would full grown aliens kidnap zombies for hosting the baby aliens from the face huggers? I guess it is a question of how fresh they need the meat to be. Humans are just cattle in this case. Is this like selecting between Long horn or dairy cow?

In either case I can make it through Aliens, not so much a zombie movie.

The Weapon of Choice: The Belt-Fed Shotgun

I have been thinking about an earlier blog I wrote about weaponry and how to choose your weapon to defend yourself with. Ever since I half-heartedly mentioned the idea of a belt-fed shotgun, I have not been able to get it out of my head. It was an idea of whim - something silly to be tossed on to the page. Now here I sit thinking of how such a contraption could work.

I am not a gun smith, and frankly it is probably one skill my family does not have. We can do a lot of things, but making guns I don't think is among them. Perhaps I could ask my father. One of my "fond" memories of him is from my last visit years ago. It was my last morning before I had to return home, and I find him in the garage making a grenade. It is not that I am afraid of explosives, quite the opposite. It is the absurdity that walking around in the workshops of my family you are likely to find any number of strange projects.

In any case, belt-fed shotgun. Shotguns filled with 00 buckshot are extremely deadly at close range. You don't have to aim particularly well and a cone of death spreads out from you. The problem is the reloading. Shotguns can have two, five, or eight shells in them before you are stuck putting a new shell in for each shot you want to have. The reloading process is one of the most easily interrupted as well. Single placement of cartridges is an additional spot for a mistake.

With a belt feed into the side of the mechanism, you can reduce the error of shaky hands in a combat situation. You fire, ratchet, and you are ready to go again. As long as you don't have things grabbing at you at close range (branches or undead) the belt can be kept clear and untangled on anything else. A shotgun with 100 or more rounds of fire, now that is a gun I want to see. Slug or 00 or even incendiary rounds are a winning combination.