Disneyland: Zombie Deathtrap

I am heading to Disneyland. My family and I LOVE Disney. It is not the perfect organization, but we know the in & outs of the parks and tend to enjoy the films. Wall-E is MY movie, not the kids. Hell, I enjoy picking apart the "Why Disney was horrible" lists. Believe it or not, a majority of the issues can be solved by better vacation planning and knowing what you are getting yourself into. That being said......

Disneyland is a Deathtrap in a Zombie attack. This is a pure ZBA zone. Tightly packed and ridiculously slow moving - humans are turned into cattle. How many times have I gotten stuck behind a slow moving pack of tourists blocking entire pathways (meant to allow 15 to 20 people walking side by side)? I can't count that high. Thankfully the other half and I are adept and intimidating these slow mover out of the way, and finding gaps large enough to pass through.

This reminds me to bring up a warning to said slow moving shamblers - In a zombie outbreak I just have to be faster than you are. Second note. I already am faster so enjoy the horde coming behind me.

I try not to be too paranoid about Zombies, but for anyone who has waited in line for the Rodger Rabbit Ride - understand the fear that dark shadow and strange noises can bring. That is one creepy kids ride. Typically Zombies based on disease will find that Amusement parks are probably some of the greatest places to strike. While they can't make a choice to go there more than any other - the combination of limited escape paths, crowded conditions, and screams and loud noises already being common create a disaster scenario. The crowd will take time to have the warning filter through. Even longer will be the tossing away of disbelief. Most won't believe it until the zombie horde reaches them. At that point - they don't have many options for escape.

Strangely enough, Two locations appear to be safer than the others - Tom Sawyer's Island (since it is surrounded by water) and Toontown - Since it has a full separating gate. Additionally, these are two of the further points from the entrance of the park, so they will have the longest warning of any point. Of the two locations - Toontown actually could survive awhile since there are basic refreshments available. However there are dozens of back-access points for Toontown - each one is a possible breach point for the horde of now undead vacationers massing at the gates. I would rate this one as having potential - but being much riskier.

Tom Sawyers Island, surrounded by a narrow moat, has a number of spots you can hide in, and if the Zombies are unable to swim (cross your fingers) you can make quick rush's for supplies at the Hungry Bear restaurant across the water. While you will get wet on the way there - Hungry Bear's is right on the water front, and is next door to the damn Canoe rental. Coming back with supplies is MUCH easier if you have a method to transport it. Brush up on your canoe skills prior to attempting this trip. Zombies may try to attack you in the water. Just pray they cannot.

However through all of this, I try to maintain my sanity. I will survive and continue to write this. As I walk the park I may just be spending my time calculating how fast I can get to Tom Sawyers Island - at least it is near my favorite Restaurants in the French Quarter. Thank god for that....

Terminal Defense Position: Vardo

Been awhile since I covered a Terminal Defense Position, but with the absurdity of the location I found on Google Maps yesterday just calls for one. The islands of Vardoya, or the town of Vardo, Norway.

Limited Approach
I guess this location should be called - "Not much farther North is possible" given its extreme location. This is probably a location that will be reserved for Norwegian and Swedish refugees of the Zombie take over of the world. It is seriously out of consideration for 95% of the global population. This pair of islands are actually just off the East Coast of one of Norway's most northern territories. Aside from a boat in the presumably rough waters of the Artic, the only other option to reach the island is a single tunnel. As far as proximity to humanity goes - this place will probably survive with its population intact. You probably even have some allies that can help you to survive. These people are pretty much all there is for miles (or Kilometers as they would say). That, and the Gulf Current keeps this place relatively mild, considering how far north this location is. In this regard - they score an easy 10/10.

Supplies
This one is a bit tricky. Vardo is beyond the Artic Tree line so you won't be growing any trees for fuel - it also puts building supplies at a premium. A survivor here would have to be careful that they didn't abuse their limited resources. An advantage this location has, is the proximity to the Norwegian Oil and Gas fields. While that means you will want to be careful when you go out exploring - it means that you should have a large supply of fuel to use to stay warm. In addition to the oil and gas fields - this is also a major fishery. If you don't like fish, you will soon learn to appreciate it because that is about all you will have to eat if the globe is overrun by zombies. While this location has some benefits for resources for food and fuel - it is a limited location in other major areas of necessity. 6.5/10

Available Skill Sets

This is a bit more limited than other locations - since this is not a major city, nor is it relatively close to an area filled with highly skilled labor. What this place does have is survival skills, and a ridiculously stubborn toughness that should probably be incredibly helpful in a fight. For goodness sake these people live above the Artic Tree Line! A "hot" day is in the 50's (F). That being said, while your stay will not be luxurious in any sense - you will survive, and eventually prosper. Hell - they actually have fortifications on the Island which could be useful in a pinch. 7/10

Overall Scored
This location scores well on in areas that determine true survival, but it is a really distant location. While there may not be many ZBA's nearby, anyone wanting to get here to this location could be facing some pretty extensive journeys through what would become "wild" lands with some of the harshest and most beautiful terrain the world has to offer. However, it is at the exact end of a highway that flows through the entire continent of Europe which helps with navigation and travel. Resupply will eventually need to occur for lumber and other supplies, but at least you will have a safe base to retreat to. This location gets a 30/40.

World War Z

I went to go see a movie the week before last, a silly film of no real consequence (or quality for that matter) and I was greeted by a World War Z preview. Now, my fiance who does not keep up with movies as much as I do (though my knowledge is still pretty lacking at times) had no clue what was coming up when I suddenly covered my eyes, plugged by ears and starting humming.

I knew the moments Brad Pitt showed up on screen stuck in a traffic jam in a city, with his family - that this did not bode well. First, I only knew of one Brad Pitt film coming up. Second - they were stuck in a traffic jam - one of the most inopportune moments for a Zombie strike to occur. Maybe I should write up a ZBA analysis of Traffics jams in the future. Anyways - I am trying to hum through this preview and of course, since it is a movie theater I cannot drown out the sounds of the film. I am just thankful there were a minimum of screams from people becoming lunch.

Some people have taken to trying to disprove Zombies as of late - which is somewhat disturbing. I don't see why you would have to spend time talking about how something is impossible if it really was. Additionally - there are existing parasitic viruses that would actually make a zombie disease quite possible. Truth be told there are parasites that will take control of an animal and direct it to do things that help it spread.

One of the more entertaining episodes of Fringe covers this well. There is a virus that infects a man, and the team is trying to figure out how the virus spreads because it seems to only attempt to spread at certain times. Come to find out, the virus is semi-sentient in a way because the virus takes advantage of its host's senses and understands when there are new people to infect. Once it has a larger group to infect, the virus will turn its host into a virus spewing biological weapon thus expanding its reach. It doesn't become contagious based on time or development - but on proximity to other carriers. Now that is a pretty vicious bug.

Back to the movie - that my fiance wants me to see. I am not going to see the movie - I don't think I want to have a heart attack, especially since a majority of films adopt the "jumping out as a method to scare" tactic. I like higher quality terror, jumping out at you doesn't scare you - it proves that your reflexes work. anyone who doesn't jump has PTSD or is a likely candidate for extended nerve damage. I prefer quality slow, gnawing terrors that come up inside your mind and leave you feeling horrified and questioning every shadow.

Come to think of it, that is kind of how my Zombie fear works isn't it?