Royal Commanders, Vandahar Gates and Denzel Washington

I like the idea of a person devoting themselves to an ideal, and showing humble loyalty to that singular thing they devote their lives to. Perhaps I am, at times, jealous of the focus individuals can have as they doggedly pursue the cause they have set themselves to. It is even more of a love when done in the thread of a fantasy story – because they can become not just devoted but empowered. Nothing can compare to the giddy feeling I had inside when I read the battles of Garet Jax in “The Wishsong of Shannara”.

This singular devotion also comes from my own personal faith – Confucianism.  I studied many different
religions and their place in a cultural context. For a time I can even say I was a Christian Fundamentalist – a prospect that undoubtedly would frighten some of those who know me now. Once I found Confucianism, its basic ideas seemed to grow on me. I liked what it had to say about what a person should say and do and how they should behave. Most importantly it helped me deal with quirks I had developed from my own life. When you have a colorful past as I do, everyday things disturb you that others do not struggle with. This gave me a way of acting that helped me to feel I had a guideline to follow – something I need more than people know.

Why am I discussing Garet Jax and Confucianism? Because they helped me create the concept of a “Royal Commander”, the first of these seen is Vandahar Gates in Empires Awakening. While they will not all be warriors like Vandahar, they are all individuals who have submitted themselves to a higher calling, and they have become “Tian” (insert character) and are princes of virtue among humanity. The Chinese consider this to be “Heaven” or “Sky” but mean “Great Whole” – these are those individuals that are truly following the teachings that will make them great. In my concept they have sworn themselves to serve the people of a nation, but that doesn’t mean they “serve” them in the traditional sense of following every command. These are individuals who work to ensure a people are safe and allowed the chance to prosper. Vandahar is devoted to fighting the dangerous elements in Brodesia making sure the innocent and the meek can live to prosper. You can fully expect a multitude of other Royal Commanders to make an appearance with entirely different sets of skills and paths to meet these goals.

Lastly, if anyone was curious what I imagined Vandahar Gates to look like and how he spoke – You can look no further than Denzel Washington. While I make it no secret I hope my books are received awesomely enough that I could get a movie deal for them (who wouldn’t want that?!?) I don’t know if I will get to be big enough fast enough that Denzel could still be asked to fill the part. Only time will tell.

It could happen.

World War Z

I went to go see a movie the week before last, a silly film of no real consequence (or quality for that matter) and I was greeted by a World War Z preview. Now, my fiance who does not keep up with movies as much as I do (though my knowledge is still pretty lacking at times) had no clue what was coming up when I suddenly covered my eyes, plugged by ears and starting humming.

I knew the moments Brad Pitt showed up on screen stuck in a traffic jam in a city, with his family - that this did not bode well. First, I only knew of one Brad Pitt film coming up. Second - they were stuck in a traffic jam - one of the most inopportune moments for a Zombie strike to occur. Maybe I should write up a ZBA analysis of Traffics jams in the future. Anyways - I am trying to hum through this preview and of course, since it is a movie theater I cannot drown out the sounds of the film. I am just thankful there were a minimum of screams from people becoming lunch.

Some people have taken to trying to disprove Zombies as of late - which is somewhat disturbing. I don't see why you would have to spend time talking about how something is impossible if it really was. Additionally - there are existing parasitic viruses that would actually make a zombie disease quite possible. Truth be told there are parasites that will take control of an animal and direct it to do things that help it spread.

One of the more entertaining episodes of Fringe covers this well. There is a virus that infects a man, and the team is trying to figure out how the virus spreads because it seems to only attempt to spread at certain times. Come to find out, the virus is semi-sentient in a way because the virus takes advantage of its host's senses and understands when there are new people to infect. Once it has a larger group to infect, the virus will turn its host into a virus spewing biological weapon thus expanding its reach. It doesn't become contagious based on time or development - but on proximity to other carriers. Now that is a pretty vicious bug.

Back to the movie - that my fiance wants me to see. I am not going to see the movie - I don't think I want to have a heart attack, especially since a majority of films adopt the "jumping out as a method to scare" tactic. I like higher quality terror, jumping out at you doesn't scare you - it proves that your reflexes work. anyone who doesn't jump has PTSD or is a likely candidate for extended nerve damage. I prefer quality slow, gnawing terrors that come up inside your mind and leave you feeling horrified and questioning every shadow.

Come to think of it, that is kind of how my Zombie fear works isn't it?

Zombies Details

One of the most fascinating aspects of my personal fear, are the minor details that can determine whether or not I freak out. Instead of being a broad brush, like a general fear of guns - and it won't matter what type of gun, my fear is much more finicky. While I do know a large amount of Psychological theory as it pertains to personality - I know strikingly little about the dynamics of how fears develop and mature in ones psyche.

I know it sounds strange, but my fear is only triggered by a few specific sets of characteristics that if they are not in the correct alignment I am not as afraid. You see my fiance pointed this out to me just a few weeks ago, I am not afraid of the rabid humans from "I am Legend", when by all obvious accounts I should be. In fact, the level of virulence is so very high in that film that it is almost unbelievable. The people mutated by the virus still ate everyone else, they still destroyed humanity in almost it's entirety. I am not sure what it is about this that helps me to watch the film - though I admit I am still nervous about the virulence of the disease. In fact, I am more worried about the virus than I am the rage-filled mutants eating and killing everyone.

Let's take another example - Skeletons. by all accounts, if my fear of the undead was a blanket "they should be dead but are not" than my fear should also cover skeletons. However this is not the case, I am actually quite fine with them running around as an army bent on terrorizing the local village. Hell, I even have my best friend from high school to credit with an incredibly useful trap for aquatically inclined heroes in D&D and other role playing games.

No, my fear really is about a very specific set of things that must be in place for zombies to terrorize me. Virus - yes. Eating people - yes. Stumbling rotting flesh bent on mindless consumption that is society - yes.

I am not sure I will ever figure out what specifically qualifies a specific thing to become terrifying, but I am sure it is in there somewhere. I guess as the saying goes - the devil is in the details. 

Survival Ratings

Survivability is key for any individual who finds themselves in the midst of a zombie Apocalypse. Perhaps it is time to develop a sliding-dependency scale to determine the survivability of people in such an event. There would be a number of factors one would have to look at to insure everything was adequately examined.

First, you would have to score them on a single-survivor basis. How well can this person survive on their own - what are their chances to NOT become lunch.

Second, scoring them on a pairing or group survivability basis. Some skills work better when used in conjunction with other skills, so in essence their abilities work better with people around.

Thirdly, the mental stability needs to be examined. Last thing you want is someone who loses their mind just when you need it most. Some minds just do not handle the idea of the Apocalypse well.

So, we can call this the I-G-S-S score. Individual, Group Survivability and Stability score. IGSS, almost sounds cute. Perhaps the next few days I can develop a scoring process for each of the IGSS values. Anyone want to be a test subject?

The Crisis of Creativity

I will one day be in a crisis of my own creativity. First I am pretty sure you are all wondering what the hell that means, and second you are probably wondering what that looks like. Well, hopefully I can answer both questions for you dear readers.

My better half, in her wisdom, has decided that one day I will write a zombie horror story. Knowing my infinite luck in this arena, I probably will break down and right that very story. In fact I have one that terrifies me that I intend to put on the page. It includes every disturbing thought that comes into my mind when it comes to Zombie-ism, and the ending is something that creeps me out. So, story being done - I just haven't written it.

My greater fear is what happens if it is made into a film - I would be required to go. I would have to be on set, I would have to promote the very things I want nothing to do with. My not wanting to go and being honest runs the risk of appearing to be giving the movie easy viral advertising. Which, if the movie terrifies and disturbs people like it does me - would be perfectly fine. However if people think the movie sucked - than well I look like a doofus.

Thankfully my risk of doofus-dom is pretty low - and at least I can't look as bad as John Kyl the unapologetic bastard that he is.I think I would have to stoop pretty low to be poorly viewed in the communities of the world that value things like honesty and a sense of morality. Goodness, what could I do to be that bad off?

Another blog for another day.

Infectious Nature of Fear

There is a grim reality that people around me must face after they make fun of my Zombie Fear; the reality that they may themselves begin to share in my fear. I won't reveal the names of the people around me that have felt this way, but readers you should all know that fear is contagious.

When we see the rational intelligent people in our lives so terrified by something, it is human nature to begin to wonder if they may not have a point. In my case some have had nightmares and even moments of fearful clarity as they watched someone shamble around in the night - and they have that quiet voice of unreasonable fear pop into their heads. The thought sticks with them, digging its claws into their mind.

For those of you who will begin to fear so much - its okay, its human to have new fears.

The Weapon of Choice: The Belt-Fed Shotgun

I have been thinking about an earlier blog I wrote about weaponry and how to choose your weapon to defend yourself with. Ever since I half-heartedly mentioned the idea of a belt-fed shotgun, I have not been able to get it out of my head. It was an idea of whim - something silly to be tossed on to the page. Now here I sit thinking of how such a contraption could work.

I am not a gun smith, and frankly it is probably one skill my family does not have. We can do a lot of things, but making guns I don't think is among them. Perhaps I could ask my father. One of my "fond" memories of him is from my last visit years ago. It was my last morning before I had to return home, and I find him in the garage making a grenade. It is not that I am afraid of explosives, quite the opposite. It is the absurdity that walking around in the workshops of my family you are likely to find any number of strange projects.

In any case, belt-fed shotgun. Shotguns filled with 00 buckshot are extremely deadly at close range. You don't have to aim particularly well and a cone of death spreads out from you. The problem is the reloading. Shotguns can have two, five, or eight shells in them before you are stuck putting a new shell in for each shot you want to have. The reloading process is one of the most easily interrupted as well. Single placement of cartridges is an additional spot for a mistake.

With a belt feed into the side of the mechanism, you can reduce the error of shaky hands in a combat situation. You fire, ratchet, and you are ready to go again. As long as you don't have things grabbing at you at close range (branches or undead) the belt can be kept clear and untangled on anything else. A shotgun with 100 or more rounds of fire, now that is a gun I want to see. Slug or 00 or even incendiary rounds are a winning combination.

Apocalyptic Survivability

I am a survivor. Now before you dismiss me as being overly hopeful, or just ignorant of the steep curve of basic natural survival of animals, Think about your own personal knowledge, and what you know how to do to survive. Hollywood, and even the science channel have tried to figure out the multitude of ways to collapse human-kind in on itself. Movies like the Terminator, 12 Monkeys, I am Legend, 2012 - these are all films that question the ability of humans to respond to calamity. 

Let's face it as well - many of us our soft. We spoil ourselves with driving our environmentally controlled cars, we hide from nature behinds walls of stone, wood, glass and steel. In a fight between man and a natural beast - there are many interactions where mankind is on the losing end without technology to back him up. Nature is something I called the MOAB talking to my better half tonight. Not to be mistaken with the Russian Mega-bomb, or perhaps an American ICBM, MOAB (a bigger version of a son of a bitch) stands for Mother of All Bitches. When it boils down to it, nature is not a son of a bitch, she is THE biggest one in all existence.

That being said, humans have survived for tens of thousands of years. In earthly terms, we are still just a blink in a tectonic image. Mother Earth hiccups - and chances are we go flying without a passing thought in the mind of the planet. The question I pose is what are we doing to survive if that hiccup occurs.

Zombie, Nuclear, extra-terrestial, or microscopic - there are lots of ways for humans to be wiped out. How many of us know how to find shelter, or locate clean water supplies or know where to get food if suddenly the supermarket is out? Who among us can figure out the fastest means to travel between two points if highways are impassible and your vehicles is rendered useless? Does anyone know the proper quarantine procedures to protect your home in the case of a disease outbreak?

We are soft, not in a morbid the divine-will-punish us soft, but we are quite honestly ignorant of what we have to know to protect in order to survive. I know people who won't last a day without wikipedia. Quite frankly I know people that if it wasn't for my near eidetic memory of some techniques and information they probably wouldn't survive long in a disaster. However I also know my limitations and who I need to work with to make sure myself and those I care about survive.

Before you think I have lost my mind or find me paranoid, I just ask that you think very carefully on what steps you know you need to take to survive in whatever disasters can reach you. In the span of a few hours a single weather event can bring us to an etch-a-sketch end of the world (thank you Eddie Izzard) scenario where 100,000 years of civilization is thrown out as fast as yesterday's trash and everyone is in kill or be killed mode. Sadly that first reaction is also conducive to making sure fewer survive. Perhaps tomorrow I will write about how collectivism is more important for survival than individualism, for now I leave you with the thoughts of "What they hell will I do if...?"

I think that should be frightening enough since most of us can't answer that question.

Zombie Children

Nothing pisses me off more than the idea of Zombie Children. I mean seriously, children? Like people don't already have a hard time surviving the playground, now they have to go start eating people to top it off? I hated recess before Zombies. After - just makes it a living hell that was upgraded with more hell.

First, let us ignore the disturbing fact that children would have to get infected somehow. If you are an adult on a playground you already have a sign on you that says "attack me". Anyone who has worked with children know how this works. Within moments of stepping into their domain they are sent into a frenzy the likes of which is not rivalled by anywhere else in nature. It is like a collective, mad consciousness is ruling them from the moment they reach the slide. For some reason playground equipment brings out the primal energy of children. Turning them into fast moving torpedo's for attacking, tackling, climbing, swinging tunnelling and digging - it is a sight to behold.

Now make the mistake of letting them get infected. Children have the cleanliness facter of earthworms. Once it is in the ground they all share everything. Once a child has something, they all end up with it. They have a natural tendency to share every single contaminated item that comes into their possession. Everyone knows how quickly lice spreads? Colds? Flus? Now take all that primal energy and make it hungry. So now adults change from jungle gyms into buffets.

Let us not forget the cuteness factor. What group of national guard soldiers coming upon a playground full of children will shoot first and ask questions later? None. I can see it now:

"Oh these children are so cute, they are running to greet us!"

"Rawr!"

"My god the cute children are now trying to bite my ankles. Now they are climbing up on me, ow! he bit my neck!"

"Rawr!"

"Rawr!"

National Guard 0, zombie children plus a million. The most terrifying part of this is the fact that the chances for human survival are pretty darn slim with a child zombie army roving about. They would be like locusts eating crops. Quick moving packets of cuteness laced with death (and undeadness), scouring the countryside for the next group of stupid people who think it is cute when a wave of children come running at them. Think ahead and plan people. Go experience your son or daughter's playground. Once you see the terror they can wrought without  deadliness you will start to think about how to defend yourself.

Here is a hint: Children like to climb and wiggle through very small holes we otherwise don't think they can get through. Start preparing.

My Response to Zombie Movies

I do not care to watch Zombie films. At one point I was able to do so, but in the past few years that capacity has been lost to me.The tension and the fear are too much for me. That, and every zombie movie involves things jumping out at you suddenly and usually involve fair amounts of gore. My two least favorite cinematic techniques.

I am reminded of a night years ago when I was watching the first two resident Evil films in a row. One night of "lets get this over with" zombie action. I finished both films - I was a trooper. However I spent that night barricaded in my bedroom. I even had a crutch being used as a door jam against the door frame and the wall - to give me a few more moments to escape if the filthy beasts came and attacked. I even slept with my katana and waki-sashi on the floor next to the bed - just in case.

The few times I have tried watching these films with significant others - I always end up not wanting to cuddle. Because of course someone infected would want to cuddle and get near my neck. Look, EVERYONE, if I am having a paranoid day about zombies, leave my flipping neck alone. It is the one place that I do not want you near. I don't even want to touch anywhere else, but for the semblance of sanity I must. Also on a side note - thank you for those who have been sensitive about this.

Do I want to watch zombies in any form? Not particularly. I mean, it is not like my undead list precludes undead as a rule. Oh no. Vampires are ok. Mummies are fine. Skeletons do not frighten me. Ghosts are not an issue. Liches - well, depending on the type I will ave my concerns. It is just those damnable zombies that need to be erased.

The Importance of Armor

Armor has existed for millenia. Granted the first armor was probably only decorative paint used to ward off enemy weapons an evil spirits, the idea id not the practicality was there. The people at least knew their frailty needed a suitable counter agent.

Eventually people wizened up and realized that pieces of tanned animal hide, wood and metal were much better protection than a gallon bucket of eggshell with primer mixed in. (Can you imagine the first person to question the witch doctor? "I don't know, your war paints are great but I think I still want to bring a shield for the archers...")

In the event of a zombie apacolypse I think everyone should keep in mind a quick and effective plan to make sure the walking dead have a harder time turning you to their ranks. Movie after Movie show so many of our would be heroes walking around is not much better than their Sunday best. While that is great for church, it pretty much does nothing to stop nails and teeth. I mean seriously - each one of you idiots knows that your opponents bite and scratch; yet you don't even take the time to wear an arm guard or long sleeves? How much trouble is it to take that big winter fleece and shove books or magazines inside. Do you know anyone who can bite through a full sized magazine?

Now that I have given one simplest of the simple ideas for body armor, I will go into other more complex ones. For those of you reading and who I advised to take note of Armories - remember they do have some limited amounts of body armor. Flak vests are better than nothing. Riot gear is a great full body protector. Not heavy duty but will give you a few extra close calls before you are lunch. Also take note of biological defense systems - the breathing apparatus will help make sure if you are facing an air-borne pathogen that you can breath easier (but not really. I hear it is a real pain in the ass to breath through those things. Once the filter is clogged it is like breathing with a 400 pound Samoan on your chest)

For myself, I like metal. I am a lithe guy, but I am strong enough to walk some distance even while wearing 60 pounds of steel covering me. I also know how to make chainmaille. Sure, it may be a pretty jewelry making skill, but when push comes to shove - I can make armor that can resist full on stabbing attacks with knives. That sort of protections pays, but making it takes quite awhile. If I had to work on my own I may take weeks to produce enough to make sure I am completely covered and bite proof. It also has almost know pathogen stopping system - so airborne zombieism would leave me vulnerable (but hence why I know about biological protection breathing wear - just in case)

So dear readers, make sure you are aware of how to save your skin, quite literally. When it comes to sharing body armor - you probably won't have any to spare.

Balance of Weaponry

I am at times torn between the two important considerations of balanced weaponry to protect myself. What are these considerations? Ammunition and Range. I hate getting into a bind where I have to pause to reload (like this is a common problem or concern). Especially when I somehow find myself trying to fight a zombie horde in the event of a zombie Apocalypse - I don't want to get caught unable to fight my way away to safety.

Both of these concerns revolve around a basic question of how to defend yourself. Melee weapons have the amazing benefit of never running out of ammunition. A Spear or baseball bat don't jam or run out. But lets face it, using them means you have to close enough to a zombie where the chances are good they may be able to infect you. Not very good in my mind.

The other option is a ranged weapons - the glorious ability to wreak havoc without being near any zombies is powerful - without that infection range that would be a concern with a melee weapon. However ranged weapons are limited when clearing out a city or a building, as your opponent is relatively close. Also, you have to keep track of how much ammo you have and when it is safe to reload. All these decisions and information to be up to date on. A poorly maintained weapon or miscounted ammo stock can be the difference between getting to safety and being on the menu.

All in all I still would prefer to maintain a distance between myself and any zombies. At least a good hundred miles or so. If that isn't possible I would like the world to invent the amazing and beautiful belt-fed combat shotgun. You have a choice between Double-0, Slug, and incendiary shells with the beauty of a near limitless magazine and the close quarters effectiveness of the shotgun.

Let the orders start coming in.

Riding that Highway....

Roadways are the strings that connect the far-flung cities of the world. More so than ships or planes, roads are the premier artery of people for this world. Boats and roads have both been around for thousands of years, and boating may have even pre-dated roads - at least in a formal way. How else did the Polynesians spread their culture across the south pacific so completely? Roads however have stuck with the American personality above all other modes of transportation.

I am going to be on the road tonight, and I am reminded of the fact that many of these roads will get clogged with people in any sort of emergency event. Do roads qualify as ZBA? I guess that depends on the roads. In cities like LA, where the highways are an after-thought to a massive population then I think a fair portion of them will become ZBA.

Awareness of the most secret alternate roads out of your area are a must. First, as a personal escape route, secondly so you know where to leave landmines to prevent zombies from coming unannounced. For hikers this means you will be the future scouts of America in times of need. You know the back areas of the country, and how find the routes through.

So, be nice to your family and friends who hike. Chances are they could save your life and avoid possible ZBA traffic jams.

Common Concerns

Today is a list of common thoughts that run through my head as I go through the day.

1. Walking through amusement parks, I often try to figure out the most defensible rides. I mean, if zombies attack an amusement park, since it is a veritable buffet of people, I need to know that I can get myself and my family to a safe place quickly while the slower people are eaten.

2. Supply point. I am one of those people that does their best to take note of the Nationa Guard Armories that I hear about. Between my apartment and Phoenix Arizona, there are three places where weapons will be available. Take note.

3. Ranchers are your friends. Many times they are very close to being self-supporting, and their first instinct is to shoot people running onto their lands, not embrace them and be bitten and infected. You want that sort of trust around you.

4. I will always place a trip to Home Depot above a trip to Costco on my list of places to be in an Zombie apocolypse. People in Home Depot are more likely to be armed, and be living in a defensible location, and Driving a truck (because trucks run down zombies easier then compact or fuel efficient vehicles). And besides, pretty much any Tom, Dick, and Sally goes to Costco - not ones packing heat. Another Zombie Buffet Area.

I think that is fine for now. In all future posts I am creating the ZBA acronym. ZBA = Zombie Buffet Area. Now you can talk to your friends in code about these places and not sound as crazy I do.

Walls

The balance between defence and aesthetics is hard to maintain. There are few places in history where defenses have not been overcome at one point or another. But even fewer where beauty made a structure easier to protect

Daily Concerns

I wake up and I am alone. Nothing different from when I went to bed, also alone. No one is around. Many nights the apartment building I call home is quiet, empty it seems of active life. It is moments like that, as I just pass the time until I am forced to leave, I wonder how I would know if something happened.

I mean - I am locked in my apartment, with only a few windows into the world, and those face an alleyway. I am functionally blind. If some event occurred and the world was quiet because everyone had evacuated (and I fear I missed the call) then how would I know? I have been known to sleep through rock concerts - would I really wake up to the sounds of sirens in the distance?

Yes I am careful when I open the door. Almost always I check out the peep-hole to make sure nothing is waiting for me, before I turn the knob to go out. So think on that next time you are completely alone, and everything is quiet around you. Is it quiet because it is just a quiet neighborhood; or is it quiet because everyone is dead and you are the last one left?

PS: I found out yesterday at work that the county emergency plans involve everyone gathering at the nearby community college. Note to self: Another reason to avoid the community college if emergency crews set up shop.

Kinetomortophobia: A Day in the life

Humankind has been plagued by fears throughout our entire existence. Since the first simian began the evolution to leave the trees and move across the ground - we have evolved a portion of the brain that allows us to recognize danger and respond proactively. You know, to run away before the big bad lion, tiger, or bear runs us down for their next lunch. That being said, I have a healthy appreciation for fear - it is something to be aware of as it makes sure we live longer lives and keep ourselves out of harms way (when done so reasonably).

However, many of us have strange fears - places our minds go that we can't really explain. There are strange fears, if you can imagine it; it is possible to be afraid of it. People who are afraid of the sun, people who are afraid of the dark, people who are afraid of ducks, open spaces, closed small spaces - all of these are fears one can have. There is even a fear of fear.

The purpose of this blog is to catalogue my own personal fear, a completely unreasonable and strange fear that I am not interested in facing, nor do I seek out a cure for. While this will be of pure entertainment value for most readers, I will list and post the thoughts and panicked emotions that come with my day to day living with my fear. You see dear readers, I am afraid of Zombies.

Now that you have taken the time to stop laughing, I would urge you to follow along as I let this year run its course. This is a fear that stays with me as much as a person lives fearful of clowns or spiders or snakes or anything else. So as the thoughts and the fear pop into my mind, I will post it here for everyone to read. Perhaps by the end of this you will see the tragic comedy that plays out in my mind day after day - and get a few laughs along the way.

Its okay - I know it will be at my expense, but that is a tab I am willing to pay.