Terminal Defense Position: The Channel Islands

Since my last entry discussed some of the concerns a Zombie-apocalypse survivor needs to keep in mind when selecting a location, I decide I should start picking some out that I think would make for interesting analyses. Lets face it, after playing a few rounds with the game "Plague Inc." almost anyone would want to find a nice secluded spot to live when the Zombies come. Or in this case - the vastly over-powered mutating sentient disease intent on wiping out humanity.

One can only hope that Plague Inc. gives me a free copy of the app for plugging them here (please? I need to scare myself more often?)

Anyways, my location for today's analysis is going to be the Channel Island off the California coast. Here is a map in case you are unsure where they are. that city in the top right corner of the Map is the Ventura/Oxnard region just outside of Los Angeles. This location will include the caveat that I have not spent any time on the islands - I have only looked longingly at them from the coast when I spend time in Ventura. This location speaks to me on a number of different wavelengths, so lets look at each of the areas of concern and how this location stacks up.

Limited Approach
These islands are nice in that they are close to shore, but out of range of most swimmers. The first small island is almost 20 miles off shore - I know I can't swim that far as of today. (Note to self, begin swimming training for endurance) The island each have few locations that you can just get onto the island - their coasts are rocky - this will help provide less area to patrol and keep possibly infected people off-shore under quarantine. Can't beat that. However - this place is within an hour travel of the metropolitan area of Los Angeles. The city proper has almost 3.9 million residents, and the Metro area is closing in on 20 million inhabitants making it one of the largest city centers on the planet. Score: 8/10

Length of Stay before Re-Supply
This one is tricky. If you have time to prep the location - which you cannot in this case because I guess people get angry if you modify a national park- these locations can be very long-term inhabitable. Fishing is ample around the islands, and there seems to be enough rain to keep the place green most of the year, however this island is along the dividing line of the California heat and the more common cooler rainier climate of the northern half of the state. With the right seed crops in addition to local wildlife, and a way to store large amounts of water, this island could be a great place to spend your time. Also, though you can't see it on the smaller map above - directly north of the eastern peninsula of the island are active oil derricks. That's right - you have a pre-tapped supply of oil - if you know how to not blow yourself up operating an oil derrick. Score: 10/10

Supplies
This location could be self-sustaining if properly managed - however a fair amount of technical expertise is needed. Who here can farm? How much needs to be planted to feed a single/multiple persons? Who can operate an oil derrick? Can you fish without a fancy pole or net? Also, the previous blog entry mentioned that whole "Tons and tons of explosives" that would be dropped to stop the advance of the Zombie horde. Does anyone reading this that the military would think twice about nuking an LA with Zombie Justin Beiber eating his fans? Hell. No. (a Google image search was too revolting to include here.) I wouldn't stop myself. So this location could be partly irradiated, and any supplied you would have tried scavenging while fighting off the millions of undead in LA will be a melted pile of slag. Your only hope is that the mountains shielded Ventura and Oxnard - lots of hippies with Solar panels, and marina's with nice boats. Score: 6/10

Available Skill Sets
This one will take some planning. Good news is that California has Rocket scientists - so no shortage of mad-scientist types can be found near the Channel Islands - they do Rocket testing there. Additionally, the Naval Engineers (Sea Bees) are located at the naval base at Point Mugu - on the south side of Oxnard. Make that another notch for very well armed construction and trade skills. In fact - if you can't make a pretty hospitable location work when you have both rockets scientists and a full armed construction force you are really going to have to reconsider your plan of action for the apocalypse.  Score: 11/10

Final Score
Because of the relative ease of sustaining this area, and the availability of both farm and technical skill sets, but its proximity to a major ZBA - I would give the Channel Islands a total score of 35/40. This location could sustain a group of people for an extended period of time, in relative ease with its moderate climate conditions, proximity to technical and physical resources and a more secure location than most people can find on land. Well done California, well done.

Ants: Natures Zombie Hunters

A wonderful bit of news from the world of nature, as a follow up to yesterday's post. If you actually took the time to watch the video I linked to, you would know that the ant colonies in question were very aware of the zombie problem. In fact, they assign attack squads to find the infected and remove them from the colony.

How much more awesome can ants get? I already liked their collective mentality - their organization structure for their success. Now, I know that if zombies do come, I can find giant ants to use as assistants in eradicating the zombie threat. Also, since they know they will do it for the hive - I don't have to bribe them, they will be supportive of the survival of all.

With the industrial capacity of their own insane capacity, ants have found a new reason to be high on my list of creatures of the animal kingdom.

At Least Death is Punctual

In a previous entry we discussed Zombification parasites. Thanks to my loving better half I now have a great article (with video!) with which to link all of you.

The basic premise of the possibility of zombification in the future is based on the idea that their are just too many vast numbers of possible genetic combinations that can be created - or may have yet to be discovered (by nature hopefully not us). Even the Oatmeal.com has an idea of why Zombie attacks go utterly and horribly well. It is not like nature needs ANY help what-so-ever in finding new ways to eliminate life. Believe me - she can do it better than any of us can!

That being said, Parasites are horrible, and in the following article and video you can see just why you should never discount the creative ways Mother Nature will try to kill you with. Watch the video in the article, and be afraid, very afraid.

Survival Ratings

Survivability is key for any individual who finds themselves in the midst of a zombie Apocalypse. Perhaps it is time to develop a sliding-dependency scale to determine the survivability of people in such an event. There would be a number of factors one would have to look at to insure everything was adequately examined.

First, you would have to score them on a single-survivor basis. How well can this person survive on their own - what are their chances to NOT become lunch.

Second, scoring them on a pairing or group survivability basis. Some skills work better when used in conjunction with other skills, so in essence their abilities work better with people around.

Thirdly, the mental stability needs to be examined. Last thing you want is someone who loses their mind just when you need it most. Some minds just do not handle the idea of the Apocalypse well.

So, we can call this the I-G-S-S score. Individual, Group Survivability and Stability score. IGSS, almost sounds cute. Perhaps the next few days I can develop a scoring process for each of the IGSS values. Anyone want to be a test subject?

Dear Home Owner on the Hill

Dear Home owner on the hill,

I like your hours and its extremely defensible location, easy access to fields for growing food, and the ability to be reached in relatively little time in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Please understand I will only show up if the zombies are coming, no sooner. Just please be aware of the following concerns to save us both time and trouble.

1. I will keep you alive, and your family alive, until you are infected. If this happens I am "evicting" you, not the other way around.
2. Please keep a backhoe and pile driver parked behind your home. This, coupled with steel pylons, steel sheets and cement and mortar works will be part of my defensive position plans. I know you can pay for them so please do.
3. Email me where your water supply is, so I can secure it. I don't want to fight the undead for a drink.
4. There is no fourth request.
5. Please start your marksmanship practice now, I don't want to waste ammo training you after the fact.

Thank you for these considerations, I look forward to never having to meet you or and build a barricade around your home.

Signed Most Honorably,
Me.


I was hiking today and found one of the most perfect retreat positions in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Its on the high ground in the mountains north of Santa Barbara, and I wish I knew who lived there (or how long their driveway is because it is SERIOUSLY up there).

This house is so absurdly placed that I fell in love with it almost immediately. That, and on top of the damn house (though the picture doesn't quite show it) is a 360 degree observation floor. Windows facing outward from every face WELL ABOVE THE HOUSE! It is like they knew it themselves that they needed a snipers nest for taking out zombies before they got close. Also, in the event of a massive earthquake, it is not near an edge so landslides are unlikely, and may I say in the image below - Tsunami who?

For flipping Jehovah's sake - what else could I ask for? Well I could ask for the channel island preserve (yes I do consider it an option for my safe haven) given its close proximity to food sources, distance to shore, and its easy access to active oil wells. My only concern is getting trapped on the very island I am trying to secure for myself. In either case, I have another spot I can put on my list.

The Silence of Being Alone

Last night I was sent out on errands by the other half after we were all home. So, taking my daughter I left and gave her, my other half, some time alone in the apartment. When I returned with errand items in tow, she commented on how strange it was to have the apartment so quiet. I explained to her that the silence she experienced could also be maddening.

I spend a large portion of my time alone. If not in reality than at least emotionally. Living alone at these times all I have is the silence to keep me company. To be honest, silence is a jerk to have for company. Its creepy, over bearing and it makes you depressed. My apartment building is so quiet I don't even get the occasional fights in the unit next door, the rhythmic slamming of a couple "bonding" next door, or even kids running amok causing a racket. It is no wonder that I am driven to high levels of paranoia after a few days home alone.

Most of my days are silent and start out with this morning fog. No, this is not a picture of anywhere near me - I am using a picture from Ontario. In either case, waking up each day to this, having not heard a single person in sometimes 48 hours - well anyone would be worried about where the hell everyone was. Zombies could be just beyond the mists, finishing up the last of humanity except for me. Do I want to go wandering out into the nothingness to find out - no, that is stupid. Fog dissipates, wait for it to clear.

My Response to Zombie Movies

I do not care to watch Zombie films. At one point I was able to do so, but in the past few years that capacity has been lost to me.The tension and the fear are too much for me. That, and every zombie movie involves things jumping out at you suddenly and usually involve fair amounts of gore. My two least favorite cinematic techniques.

I am reminded of a night years ago when I was watching the first two resident Evil films in a row. One night of "lets get this over with" zombie action. I finished both films - I was a trooper. However I spent that night barricaded in my bedroom. I even had a crutch being used as a door jam against the door frame and the wall - to give me a few more moments to escape if the filthy beasts came and attacked. I even slept with my katana and waki-sashi on the floor next to the bed - just in case.

The few times I have tried watching these films with significant others - I always end up not wanting to cuddle. Because of course someone infected would want to cuddle and get near my neck. Look, EVERYONE, if I am having a paranoid day about zombies, leave my flipping neck alone. It is the one place that I do not want you near. I don't even want to touch anywhere else, but for the semblance of sanity I must. Also on a side note - thank you for those who have been sensitive about this.

Do I want to watch zombies in any form? Not particularly. I mean, it is not like my undead list precludes undead as a rule. Oh no. Vampires are ok. Mummies are fine. Skeletons do not frighten me. Ghosts are not an issue. Liches - well, depending on the type I will ave my concerns. It is just those damnable zombies that need to be erased.

Sustainability in the Post-Apocolypse

We all want to survive. I mean, unless I have some suicidal members of society reading this today, pretty much all of us want to make it to the ripe old age of (insert some large number here) and die in our sleep peacefully. The question is what you do to maintain your survival in the event of a catastrophic Zombie attack.

I just don't think many people understand how ridiculously inter-connected our world is these days. You take out one peg and it all falls apart. Redundancy has not been good business, and much of our country has been left to its own devices without worthwhile civil construction projects. Did you know that our power grid was last up to date in the 1970's? Without human intervention we lose electricity in about eight to ten hours. How sad is that? Water systems are similarly ancient, with some cities still using water pipes installed in the early 20th century. And you wonder why so many water mains break in the winter New York City? Now you know.

Now that you know these are going to be problems, what are you going to do about it? How will you provide food, water and defensible shelter with a bunch of Zombies running amok (or shambling depending on their incarnation)? I think, dear readers, you should focus first on shelter and water. Water almost always draws life of some type or another, be it animal or plant. Hence why a concern for water may trump all the other concerns. Just remember one important fact about sources of water if you do not control the entire system - Nature likes to put sharks in the ocean and alligators/crocodiles in the water. It is that nasty thing she does with evolution, the fittest survive. If you are drawn to water, that which eats you will be drawn to water as well.

So - once you have a water system you can keep contained and defend easily (micro-water treatment - yes please!) your next concern is finding some way to have a stable dependable food source. Also - this is a point where science class and the few nerds you thought ahead to save from that college campus overrun with undead (please tell me you saved every nerd not already dead?).

Farming and growing food leads to two obvious options, each with their own problems. Number one, open field growing of whatever food you can stomach eating day in and day out for the next few decades. And the second is high-tech indoor hydroponics. First lets cover that open field scenario.

Field food crops are a pretty easy thing to run, so long as you understand your food won't look grocery store fresh. You will have to fight for your food against mother natures most numerous organisms - insects. With everyone dead or undead and obviously the number of people depleted to minimal levels, that whole "buying land" thing goes out the window. Its all free! So long as you can maintain it, it is as good as yours. There are some downsides to this though. Growing enough food to support yourself and possibly a few others takes a sizable chunk of healthy soil. Soil you hope does not have any weird stuff in it from the military trying to kill the zombie horde (you know; that whole nuke thing?) Also, Zombies may not bother to eat your fresh corn, but have you ever wandered a field of corn where the plant is a foot taller than you are? It is a bonefide ZAA - Zombie Ambush Area. Not pleasant trying to get dinner and becoming dinner. Just like that damn watering hole with the crocodile - #$^$^ nature!

The second option is a hydroponics setup. Here is where the nerds come in handy, quite literally worth their weight in food or gold, whichever you think is more important. Hydroponics can be maintained in sealed structures. Underground with artificial lighting or above ground using natural light - this is science meeting gardening. You can easily find articles online about how much bigger the fruit is, the vegetables grow healthier... blah blah blah. Basically it is contained and can be placed anywhere you are, no matter the climate or time of year. Here come the downsides. You have to put up with the nerd or group of nerds you saved from before - unless you have the time to monitor a very technical set of computer systems that are in turn running a complicated balance of water and nutrient cycles and all the amazing machinery that goes with it WHILE fighting off the zombies that wander in from time to time. If you do, no problem - except for keeping electricity and your heating running. Oh, and you have to have an internally controlled water system. Going to get buckets of water from the damn watering-death-flipping-trap-hole in the ground just is not going to cut it. And guys and gals - that whole line of "Not if you were the last person on Earth...." line goes out the window after awhile. Humans are animals after all.

Now, while each option has some pro's and cons to it, just remember that it is your choice for how to survive. Myself I know my choice, but yours may be different. Just make sure you know which way you want to go first - saves you some time fixing your mistakes (and trying to find nerds for the hydroponics once you are already left them for dead).