Monday, October 31, 2011


I am divided internally on how I feel about this holiday. In all honesty – I see as an easily abused holiday for the undead. How long into Halloween would it be before the stem of zombie attacks would be stopped? Who would you know to defend yourself against? Halloween is nothing but a really bad time for a Zombie attack – hands down with no room for argument.


However, I have a daughter, and she is going to go trick or treating no matter how paranoid I am about the shadows holding an undead menace. My daughter is beyond adorable – and to say she is the center of my universe feels like an under-statement. To disappoint her would be a tragedy that would be nigh unforgivable.


Just means I have to carry a weapon with me tonight.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Lingering Doubts

The days after a night filled with Zombie Madness inside my head continues to have little “echoes” of strangeness bouncing around.


One example – why must I keep my toes covered to protect against zombies? I am thinking this may actually be a lingering fear that Toe-Fairies might be around. It is not that toe-Fairies or Zombies hang out – it is just that my mental defense against fears must be lowered at these times.


Second – All locks must be repeatedly checked and rechecked to insure they are secure. This also means I try to have one piece of heavy furniture per door or window to slow down the incoming horde. How I intend to block all the entrances quickly when I am the only person in the home able to move things around I don’t know.


Third – Why do I need to know how I will sequester my family in the loft in event that the perimeter is breached? I actually have thought out the most effective method of getting my family to the proverbial “high ground”. I will neither confirm nor deny the presence of defensive machinery in the home.


Fourth – Why do I spend hours trying to develop a perimeter security system for a cabin I have not even built yet? I am trying to determine how I can secure an acre to 5 acre lot against a horde of undead so I can live comfortably inside without their interrupting me. So far I am trying to determine how to use a dead-mans weight system to make this work, though digging the trench for 10 foot tall perimeter fencing seems like a lot of work (and the whole expanding razor wire system is another discussion).


There are days I hate my mind (but very few where I really do).

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Zombie Nights


One of my greatest frustrations with my own mind comes from one of the greatest strengths – my ability to focus on something. My mind latches on and will refuse to let go of an idea or thought process until all possible outcomes and combinations are complete. When working on projects or new hobbies this is great. When I started researching Horology (clock making for those of us not wanting to Google it) within days I had a running concept of how to make the clock, and even had found plans for my first clock. This brain of mine is less of a friend when it latches on thoughts of zombies.


You guessed it, last night was another paranoid evening of thinking on the undead. I wonder if I would feel better just setting up a matrix of trip wires in the yard and house. I mean, it is not like my current residence can get any safer. The home has a security system that beeps every single time a door opens. You might assume that I would relax knowing that – but it doesn’t help because my mind is not sated with such simple solutions.


I have been paranoid that my mother in law may “turn” as they call it, in the middle of the night. You think in-laws are bad alive – imagine them as zombies. Ugh. It usually turns into the two halves of my brain having a running fight – trying to determine who has the better logic.


Fearful: “There is no telling if the house is safe”

Logical: “There were no zombies here fifteen minutes ago, you checked all the locks, and every window is closed.”

Fearful: “what is they sneak in. They could get past the door chime by climbing in a window!”

Logical: “The shambling, clumsy undead would have to break the window to get in. Even without the shambling – there is that whole ‘breaking the window’ part that gives you a warning.

Fearful: “Never underestimate them. They could be quiet, shambling, sneaky undead.”

Logical: “….Seriously?”

Reality: “You do realize there are no zombies right?”

Logical: “That is just what a zombie would want the world to think. I don’t trust that.”

Fearful: “Oh no, a zombie conspiracy?!?”


This is how my mind works. Notice how the “Logical” portion of my brain never tries to say that zombies don’t exist – it tries to deduce why were are only currently safe from the undead. So much for logic being any help what-so-ever.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Living in Fear: Zombie Preparation Kit

Living in Fear: Zombie Preparation Kit: I always enjoy finding other Zombie apocalypse plans, or being sent lists of items that everyone should have in case of a Zombification eve...